Friends, foes and former lovers, another super moon is coming our way, and unlike the super pink moon (which was soooo yesterday), this one will actually look like the colour in its name. Introducing the super blood moon, which promises some spooky action across the board for all of us. Here’s where you can see it in Australia, and what the funk it means for you and your star sign.
This ultra-rare cosmic phenomenon is something that won’t happen for a while, much like its sister the super pink moon. We’re just lucky to be getting both of them, and so close together, which is a real treat.
The super blood moon will arrive on May 26, and will coincide with a total lunar eclipse, meaning the moon really will hit your eye like a big pizza pie, because it’s gonna be close af. In fact, it’s going to be a couple of kms closer than the super pink moon, meaning we can all kiss the huge red moon hello!
And unlike the pink moon, which wasn’t really all that pink, the super red moon is gonna be GLOWIN’ with colour. The reason this happens is because the moon sits in the Earth’s shadow, which gives it a nice red glow. That’s science babey!
So where can I see this pretty binch in Aus?
Well, the super red moon in all her glory will appear on May 26, and will be best visible from the east coast. Sorry WA, but this one’s for us.
The lunar eclipse will officially start around 6.45 pm in every state except Perth, where it begins around 5:20 pm.
The total eclipse, however, is the most opportune moment to see a MASSIVE super blood moon, and sacrifice all of your stale meat pies to the gods upon an altar of tomato sauce. (That, or you could just watch like a loser).
The total eclipse will occur from 9:11 pm to 9:25 pm for Canberra, Brisbane, Sydney, Hobart and Melbourne (yep, only 13 minutes), 8:41 pm to 8:54 pm for Adelaide and Darwin, and 7:11 pm to 7:24 pm for Perth.
Get your binoculars out, and your fangs ready.
Now, let’s talk about what the super blood moon will mean for your sign, and whether or not the vampires will come for you when it’s their time to strike.
Just like a vampire longs for blood, you will long for companionship my Arianators (I’m working on a better name, okay). It’s time to hit up the besties and organise your next Kmart late night shopping spree, because it’s what you NEED right now.
And don’t go reading this and thinking “I should text him/her/them”, because you absolutely shouldn’t. Hit up your friends instead, they’re waiting for you.
Just like a vampire has multiple properties in Transylvania (allegedly, please don’t sue me Count), you’ve been spreading yourself thin. Sure everyone wants to love you, but not everyone CAN love you when you’re constantly buzzing about from place to place, friend to friend.
The super blood moon is time to strengthen the relationships that have been falling short, and let the super-strong relationships breathe a little. Think of it as achieving balance, with a giant red rock in the sky as your guide.
Just like a vampire can’t look into mirrors, you’ve been avoiding looking at yourself, haven’t you, my Germinators? Sure people may say you have two faces, but sometimes it feels like you have none, and we need to work on that these coming weeks.
It’s time to focus on the person who matters most, and that’s you! Self care it up baby, and start giving time to building yourself to become even better than you already are. You’ve been ignoring yourself for too long, and the super blood moon is here to help change that.
My Cancerians, my crabs, my snippy friends. No vampire jokes here, but you are looking rather pale lately, so it might be good to get out into the sun.
Comedy aside, the super blood moon is all about restoring your fitness and becoming a healthier you. If you ever have the inkling to get off your butt and exercise, take it! That’s your body (and maybe the moon) telling you that it’s time to kick start your health plan.
A fitter you is a better you! It isn’t about looking better, but feeling better! Get to it, snip snip.
Just like a vampire, you have big plans to kiss everyone on the neck, but right now they might be a bit avoidant because of your fangs. This also plays into the whole lion thing, so yeah, what a lovely metaphor.
Don’t let your failed attempts at love, lust and other conquests scare you from continuing to put your best foot forward. There’s someone out there who wants you to nibble on their neck, you just have to wait for them to come around (through no lack of trying though).
Just like a vampire, nobody can really place you or pin you down, my Virgins. I mean, they assume you live in the big scary castle on the hill, but you’re never home. The super blood moon is a time of moving, transitions and changing.
New job, new house, new partner, new experiences. New, new, new! Kiss the blood moon a big thank you, because these transitions are going to be super smooth. What a gift that this period of time is gonna be so good to you!
Librarians, hello! No vampire jokes for you, either, but I do have a werewolf joke for you legends. This is a time of transforming and reckoning with your true self. There’s a big weight on your chest and you need to let go of it.
It could be a truth that you are holding onto, a regret that you haven’t expressed, or an emotion that is sitting heavy. Let it free and you’ll know happiness, my friends. Let. It. Free!
Scorpions, I cannot give a vampire joke to you, for you are the vampire. Try not to suck the life out of every situation you’re in, be it by stealing the attention or being rude or dismissive.
The super blood moon is a time to acknowledge that there may be some people in your world who feel a little dismissed or neglected by your ways. It’s just your choice to decide whether these are people who you love, or people who you need to cut out anyway.
Remember, just because someone is peeved by your ways, doesn’t exactly mean they’re in the right! They could just be a hater. Maybe they just don’t like vampires?
Just like a vampire, alright, I can’t keep doing this joke. But that’s okay, because this period of time is about putting down the comedy as self-defence and starting to take things a little more seriously.
It’s easy as a Saggy Sister to just ignore all the seriousness around you, (because it really isn’t our style), but hey, it’s time to buckle down buddy.
Just like a vampire, you dream of garlic and its powerful effects on you. Does that have much to do with the super blood moon, not really, I just thought I’d let you know that every dish you cook should have garlic in it.
What will the super blood moon do for you though? Well, it’s a time of massive decisions, life-changing action, and cutting things out from your life without regret. So yeah, it’s huge. Uhhh, have fun with that!
My Aquariums! It’s loving season! Love is in the air, just like the smell of blood. Download Tinder again, give your partner a big old smooch or give your partners partner a big old smooch. I don’t judge, but if it has anything to do with love, you should do it!
Agree to that forbidden three-way, block that loser and start meeting new people, say yes to the date with that person who makes you feel special. We’re cutting out all the old and draining, and looking towards the new and exciting!
Who knows, maybe you’ll soon start an Addams Family with this new boo.
Hey, fishies! Just like a vampire, your name is going to be renowned throughout the entire village, and everyone will start showing you the respect you deserve.
The super blood moon is going to be a time for rewards, respect and recognition. Now, don’t we love the sounds of that? Give the moon a big fish kiss as thanks.