Congrats On Surviving The Hottest January Ever Recorded In Australia

Given the planet’s rapidly increasing temperatures, and the unwillingness of our leaders to even comprehend the threat of climate change in any substantive way, we’re fairly sure we could bang a “It’s Hot As Fuck!” article template together and populate it with facts and figures every time the Bureau of Meteorology issues a monthly stat breakdown.

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Consider this article the first of its kind.

With that said, the meteorological boffins at the BoM have revealed last month was the hottest January on record, with mean temperatures across the nation averaging out to over 30 degrees celsius for the first time ever.

We already knew there were unprecedented spikes in heat. Take Adelaide, for example, which recorded the hottest temperature of any Australian capital city with 46.2 degrees on January 24. The new raft of stats show the state experienced its hottest month overall in at least a decade, and for the first time in over sixty years, the BoM’s Adelaide measuring station recorded absolutely zero rainfall.

Victoria, New South Wales, and the NT all recorded their hottest Januarys in terms of mean, maximum, and minimum temps. While Western Australia also sweltered, Perth somehow recorded its coolest January in over ten years. Good for Perth, we guess.

The heat was caused by three main factors, said senior climatologist Dr Andrew Watkins. The first was an annoying bag of high-pressure air over the Tasman Sea, which blocked cooling winds from the south. The second was a delayed monsoon season up north.

The third? Well, that would be “the warming trend which has seen Australian temperatures increase by more than 1 degree in the last 100 years,” Dr Watkins said.

Thus concludes our article on the latest record-breaking heat. We’ll see you next month for more of the same.