All praise be to the mighty Jebus, it is Easter time once again. This means, as we all know by now, that the coming weekend is a monster in terms of relaxation time. With public holidays and observances spread out across the next four days, you’ll have plenty of time to chill out and take it easy. You bloody deserve it, after all!
The problem there, however, is that with the Easter weekend comes widespread closure of stores; Good Friday is one of the two days of the year deemed significant enough for major retailers to close their doors.
To prepare you for the coming retail apocalypse – ashopalypse? Whatever, you write your own gags – we’ve put together a handy-dandy list of what’s gonna be shut and when. Prepare wisely. Otherwise, like Jesus at the crucifixion, you’ll be cross.
SUPERMARKETS
This is the big one, folks. The real spanner-in-the-works. Planning accordingly today is the difference between eating like a king tomorrow or wolfing down stale $7 convenience store sandwiches.
Coles, Woolworths, and ALDI are all shut across the nation tomorrow, Good Friday. All of ’em. No exceptions. All shut. If you happen to live near an IGA you might be in luck if you’re absolutely tonguin’ for a feed, but the vast majority of those will be closed up tomorrow as well.
The good news for everyone not living in either South Australia or New South Wales is that the major supermarkets will re-open on Saturday and trade virtually as-normal throughout the Easter period.
New South Wales peeps are still set to cop it, however. With most Coles, Woolies, and ALDI locations closed on Easter Sunday as well.
The god-fearing lunatics in South Australia are copping it even harder: The vast majority of Coles, Woolies, and ALDI outlets will be shut on Friday, Sunday, and Monday across the Easter period. Praying for you all, tbh.
BOTTLE-Os
So if you can’t eat, you might as well get rip-roaringly drunk, right?
GUESS AGAIN LOL.
Major chain bottle shops are following suit on the store closure fronts throughout Easter. While some BWS locations here and there will open from midday on Friday, the bulk will remain closed all day. As will Liquorland and Dan Murphys outlets.
New South Wales once again cops it sweet, with closures set to follow supermarket suit on Sunday for the major bottle-o chains.
South Australia, however, escapes this one, with a whole mess of BWS, Liquorland, and Dan Murphys stores either open on Monday, or open as normal from Saturday-onwards. Because we can all get through the weekend without food, sure. But booze? Sacred booze? My children need wine.
This, of course, doesn’t cover your local watering holes. Best check with them to see if you can wet the beak on the day.
BIG RETAILERS
K-Mart and Big W are both well and truly shut tomorrow, and in New South Wales and South Australia the trend continues across Easter: Closed on Sunday in NSW, closed on Sunday and Monday in SA.
IKEA is following suit, closing all stores on Good Friday, and shutting the doors again in New South Wales on Sunday.
Bunnings is operating on similar hours: Closed everywhere on Good Friday, closed in most metropolitan NSW locations on Sunday, but gleefully open as-normal from Saturday onwards in South Australia. Go get a snag, Adelaide mates!
OTHER STUFF
So what the hell is open?
Menulog, Uber Eats and your other associated food-salvation-delivery apps are still functioning, and whatever restaurants that’ll be open will still sling you tasty treats as-normal. You might have a little extra wait, of course. Then there’s your standard fast food operations which seldom close on days like these.
But more importantly: Messina is open.
Messina is always open.
So if all else fails… ice cream.
Frankly, it’s a pretty good plan.
Happy weekend, pals!
