Here’s Your First Look At The Royal Baby

The most famous dude who has barely been alive for a day was shown to the world at Pride Rock St Mary’s Hospital over night.

The jerk Prince who kept everyone waiting finally made his debut to a world who unconditionally adores him prompted Prince William to produce his first ever Dad Joke, saying that “I will remind him of his tardiness when he’s older”. Ho ho, Wils, killing it. Kate, who was lauded as ‘brilliant’ for producing a boy (great job, ovaries) agreed that they were both “very emotional” at the arrival of their son. 

According to the Sydney Morning Herald, moments before the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge emerged from the hospital with baby on board, a man on a bike greeted the throngs of crowds, telling them they were all twats for wasting their time in anticipation of a glimpse of the Future King. He brandished a megaphone and was genuinely curious, “what on earth are you doing?” he asked. He continued by saying, “look for your own inner child” instead of cooing at a stranger who would “grow up to believe he’s better than other people”. #Preach it, random dude. Preach.

Anyway, Prince William was proud to confirm the precious prince “received his mother’s good looks“, is actually pretty adorable which is unusual for a one day old human who generally takes on the characteristics of a slimy gremlin devil, so well done, Prince: