Give Yrself Stress Poops Watching This Man Nearly Fall Out Of A Hang Glider

It’s barely 3:00pm on a Tuesday but if you’re reading this then you fully accept that your week is about to be utterly, irreparably ruined, thanks to a bloke’s horrifying hang gliding near-death experience and his apparent unquenchable thirst for views.

[jwplayer IKDQFB8A]

US man Chris Gurskey very nearly met his maker while on holiday in Switzerland after discovering, far too late, that his hang gliding instructor had failed to secure his harness to the glider’s frame.

That left Gurskey dangling perilously from the contraption, clinging on to both the glider’s directional bar and the instructor himself, as the aircraft soared outrageously high into the air while the pilot searched frantically for a landing space.

The whole ordeal, as with most tourist hang glider trips, was filmed.

Gurskey uploaded the whole thing.

We cannot stress this enough: It is fucked.

Good god. Good GOD.

First of all, how do you endure something so utterly, mind-bendingly cooked like that and then upload it to YouTube so casually? And how on earth do you decide to call it “SWISS MISHAP” of all things?

Secondly, the running commentary. “Getting Higher… Not Good!” yeah no shit it ain’t good genius.

Thirdly, that closing line: After enduring the waking nightmare of millions of people for real, old mate closes out the video with “I will go hang gliding again as I did not get to enjoy my first flight.” Hard to picture any kind of Yelp review that would paint that experience as positive, but “did not get to enjoy my first flight” undersells it all just a little bit.

Regardless, Gurskey miraculously walked away from the ordeal with a torn bicep tendon and a fractured wrist, which was repaired with surgery. And despite not being clipped into the dang thing before take off, he still praised the efforts of his pilot who got him down to the ground as quickly as possible.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go throw up in a bin.