Groundskeeper Willie Weighs In On The Scottish Independence Debate

It’s a really good Simpsons day, people. Scotland‘s greatest export and perhaps the finest custodian to ever grace the halls and grounds of Springfield Elementary has proudly thrown his tam o’ shanter into the ring as the hotly debated Scottish Independence debate winds itself towards what’s looming as a rather dramatic conclusion.
The proud former resident of North Kilttown, Groundskeeper Willie, has posted a video message to his fellow Scots, proclaiming to support both sides of the debate – whether it be the “right” one, or the “OBVIOUSLY WRONG” one. He also puts his hand up to return to his beloved motherland and lead the nation, should the upcoming vote pass and Scotland achieves independence.

The vote on Scottish Independence takes place on Thursday, and recent polls suggest that public sentiment is just about split precisely down the middle, with most experts declaring the result too close to call. Naturally, representatives from London have called for Scottish people to vote down any split from the United Kingdom, with UK PM David Cameron stating he would be “sad” if Scotland broke away, Australian PM (hell, he might as bloody well be from London) Tony Abbott suggesting they shouldn’t pass the vote, and just today Queen Elizabeth II has urged Scots to “think very carefully” about the future of Scotland.
A potentially independent Scotland does have some very interesting, and widespread ramifications for the UK. One of which directly involves Australia and how our flag will look. Recent polls suggest that a majority of Brits would support the changing of the Union Jack should Scotland pull away from the Union.
The Union Jack, as it stands, is an amalgam of the nations it represents – with the diagonal white cross against a blue background of the St Andrews Cross of Scotland merged with the upright red cross of England’s St George’s Cross. It’s conceivable that Scotland leaving the UK could mean that the blue disappears from the Union Jack, and theoretically Australia’s flag would then feature something like the following in its top left-hand corner…
…with the green of the Welsh flag, or…
…with a black background and white replaced with the yellow of the flag of St David, the patron Saint of Wales.
And, of course, there’s the little issue of Scotland controlling the majority of oil in the North Sea that currently generates somewhere in the vicinity of £5billion in tax revenue for the London Treasury annually, 91% of which would be rerouted to the Independent Scotland thanks to the internationally accepted median line that extends directly out to sea from the England/Scotland border.
But, y’know. I’m sure it’s all sentimental reasons that English politicians are trying to encourage the Scots to stay in the union, right?
Either way, Dr. William MacDougal for Scottish President! Stomp Aberdeen!