‘Go Back To Where You Came From’ Live Blog: Part 2

The debate and the television series that continues to divide and captivate a nation returns tonight with Act II of I’m A Celebrity, Go Back To Where You Came From. Last night we were introduced to the prominent Australian personalities, Angry Anderson, Catherine Deveny, Michael Smith, Imogen Bailey, Allan Asher and Peter Reith, in the “first stage of their immersion” during which they came face-to-face with a taste the journey that 0.5% of the world’s 10.55 million refugees seeking asylum face in order to escape some of the most dangerous, war-torn cities in the world,.

Tonight we return to said dangerous, war torn cities, Kabul and Mogadishu, for our second stop on the way to our “Final Destination.” Not sure where that’s going to be, but hopefully it’ll be a much nicer, less bigoted place than that from which we departed.

8:35 – We begin tonight’s program in Kabul (that is some srs jrnlst talk right there, the likes of which I’ve never encountered from myself) where the threat of violence comes as something of a surprise to Peter Reith. Catherine Deveny, on the other hand, makes a bold claim when she says “if I go down, please film it.” This isn’t the Snuff Broadcasting Station Catherine, so that probably won’t happen. For security reasons, the prominent personalities (guests? stars? subjects?) are reissued with their mobile phones. Deveny checks her @mentions to no avail. 🙁

8:39 – A young girl, Tarana, is telling a horrifying tale that involved the massacre of 74 people, which she somehow miraculously survived. She’s twelve years old now and “hopes things will improve so she can move out of this place. [She] just wants life to be good.” Catherine, Angry, Peter and myself are all visibly distraught. Cut to a flashback of Anderson saying “I don’t care about your story”, a statement he is seriously reconsidering now in the face of such needless suffering.

8:47 – In Mogadishu, the Australian contingent set out to find Abdi’s – from last night’s episode – house, a place he hasn’t visited in over twenty years since fleeing as a thirteen year old. They’re using a satellite image and a friendly man in a green shirt to get an approximate sense of where they need to head. The group locate a long-lost cousin (or brother?) of Aalima, the woman who cooked dinner for our trio. It’s discovered that after twenty years, Abdi’s house still stands, which is pretty miraculous considering the apparent Somalian fondness for demolition. We meet Abdi’s uncle and family, providing a moment of hope in an otherwise “hopeless” place.

8:54 – Still in Somalia, the group are forced to enact evasive manoeuvres when faced with a road block. Surrounded with guns, the group make a quick dash from the vehicle to a children’s hospice. At the sudden opening of a door, Imogen promptly shits herself. Inside we meet Alma, a seventeen year old girl with a malnourished one year old, who can only stay in the charity’s care for a maximum of four months. We meet Tony Burns, an Australian who runs the charity, and Tony says 41% of Somalian children are malnourished, with at least 200 dying everyday. “It’s heartbreaking because not enough is being done for them” says Bailey at the sight of dozens of fly-covered children. “I don’t know what the right word for it is, but I feel like shit.” You and I both, Imo. “[My current life] seems like a pretty selfish, bullshit life to me.” You. And. I. Both. Imo.

9:01 – Michael boards a plane and has already been propelled to action (aviation puns). He’s putting pen to paper and planning a street art charity to connect Somalian youth with established ‘creatives’ in major Western cities. Ugh. Don’t make me like you, Smith. Don’t make me re-evaluate my opinions about fellow human beings! (Kidding. That’s what we’re here for.)

9:05 – Back in Kabul, RAD (Reith, Anderson and Deveny) are doing a meet and greet with local residents who live in mudbrick houses in minus twenty degree temperatures. We meet one family with seven children, and another family fostered by a twenty year old woman with three children and a drug addict for a husband but – again – concerns over security mean we have to pile back into the Tarago. Not So Angry Anderson and Deveny are the most visibly emotional of the three, having succumbed to tears at the sight of an empty playground devoid of signs of life on an otherwise beautiful day.

9:11 – From one extreme to another, we visit a “fuckin’ awful” camp (according to Michael) in Ethiopia. Imogen confronts Michael to see if his views have changed – “not at all” he says. “Within the law I’d do anything [but] luckily I’m not in the same circumstance.” Uh, Michael, pretty sure when faced with drought, famine, persecution and – uh – almost certain death, you don’t give a flying fuck about abiding by the law and ticking all the boxes on your paperwork. Five minutes later, Michael reckons the conditions of this camp with that of hell – “this is so frickin‘ hot” – but of course, if he was put in the same situation, Michael would only leave those conditions once he’d filed all the correct paperwork. Duh.

9:20 – In Pakistan, we’re reunited with Dr. Fine Features, whose name I can’t remember. Dr Printed Shirt [alternative name] brings up the Howard Govt.’s Pacific Solution, which gives Reith – ever the opportunist – another chance to ring out his favourite cry, “We did stop the boats!” Deveny is getting pretty fired up at Reith, who shares a density of eyebrow with that of his former PM, and the term ‘blood on hands’ is bandied around a lot.

9:24 – Back at the Dolo Ardo refugee camp in Ethiopia, MIA (Michael, Imogen and Allen) track down another relative of Alima and Abdi’s. I think her name is Hawa, and she may be Alima’s niece. Imogen shows her a video message on a MacBook and when asked what message she wants to send in return, Hawa replies “I want to live near you.” Allen responds “We’ll see what we can do,” an admirable sentiment but one I fear will go by unnoticed. “How is anybody going to solve these problems?” asks Imogen and Everybody Watching At Home With MacBooks Perched On Their Laps (me).

9:31 – Michael develops both a strong attachment to a young orphaned boy named Mohammed and a football sized lump in his throat. One of the most effective pieces of editing on this show – and Australian television, perhaps – is the cuts between the before and after opinions of each personality. They make for some fascinating contrasts. I’d also just like to point out that Imogen has maintained a pretty flawless appearance throughout this whole ordeal, so kudos Imogen Bailey: Former Ralph Covergirl (PS I have a question that could be answered with a quick Google but whatever: was Imogen on Celebrity Big Brother?). Back at the UNHCR camp, the MIA team debrief on what they’ve learned so far. Despite glimpses to the contrary, Michael remains pretty steadfast in his views but Allen notes that “he saw flashes [that suggest] he’s finally trying to join the dots.” Michael has thoughts about adopting a child, like Mohammed, and as Allen points out that even though Mohammed is only one in a sea of thousands, that’s where change starts.

9:35 – That’s all for tonight. Tomorrow night’s third and final act sees RAD & MIA board a boat to Christmas Island. As per usual, take to the comments section below to share and air your thoughts and we’ll see you same time, same place tomorrow for more lerv blergging. Until then, have a nice day!

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