The Trump Presidency is sure as hell evoking a lot of extreme emotions without the assistance of any supplemental, mood-boosting substance. But even still, this feels both kind of inevitable, and deeply conflicting. Also funny. Really, really funny.
German police executing a vehicle search have found and seized some 5,000 ecstasy tablets, all extremely orange, all extremely pompous-looking, all pressed in the shape of US President Donald Trump.
A Facebook post by the Osnabrück cops on Monday asserts that a highway patrol unit picked up a father and son duo – aged 51 and 17 respectively – who were driving a Peugeot 307 with Austrian registration plates towards the central German city of Hanover. The pair had reportedly been in the neighbouring Netherlands chasing an unsuccessful vehicle purchase.
After searching the car, police found the 5,000 tablets which all bare a striking resemblance to the 45th President of the United States, complete with engorged neck, physics-defying quiff, and 5-star Trump logo pressed into the rear of the pill.
They also found and confiscated a large sum of cash that the duo was carrying.
The haul of Jerry Springers carries a reported street value of around €39,000 or approximately AUD$58,000, and the offending duo was subsequently arrested and hauled before a local judge.
Trump himself is a noted teetotaller, abstaining (at least publicly) from drugs and alcohol, preferring instead to get his jollies through other vices such as “extremely tight watch bands,” “lower class misery,” and “his own awful farts.”
The fate of the pills themselves is not known, but it sure as hell makes for an interesting ethical dilemma on the floor of Berghain. On the one hand, it is hecka weird to be gurning off the face of one of the most universally despised US Presidents in history. But on the other, we’ve had to swallow everything else he’s done thus far, so…
