Welp, Sightings Of Funnel Web Spiders Are Rising In Case You Needed Any Fresh Nightmare Fuel

All the rain in NSW has led to rising numbers of funnel web spiders in peoples’ houses. Great! I hate it when annoying Americans’ jokes about Australia being full of dangerous animals are in fact correct.

Over the last month funnel web spiders have been on the rise in flood and rain affected areas of NSW. In March, the leggy little freaks were spotted in areas of the Central Coast, Newcastle and Sydney’s Northern Suburbs.

“We’re receiving more and more reports of funnel-webs being found in homes as they seek refuge from the water and we’re urging the public to be on the lookout and know what to do if you find one in your home,” The Australian Reptile Park’s head reptile and spider keeper Jake Meney told 9News. Head spider keeper is an incredibly cool job title BTW.

It turns out the creepy crawly sightings are showing no sign of stopping. Plus, they’ve now been spotted in more parts of NSW.

Pest controller Tommy Horozakis told The Guardian that his team found three (3!) funnel web spiders in one guy’s pool up in the Blue Mountains. If that were me I would simply never swim again.

As well as rates of funnel webs, there have also been increased reports of mosquitos, cockroaches and rats.

“A customer was crying at her front door because there was a rodent in her hallway, and it was just sitting there. It wasn’t scared at all,” Horozakis said.

Ah yes, the Confident Rodent. My favourite 1990s femme punk band.

Rat sightings have also been on the rise in both NSW and Queensland. Maybe the rats and the funnel web spiders can have a Godzilla vs King Kong style kaiju battle? Just not in my house please.

Paul MacSporran from Pest Control North Brisbane told the ABC the company was experiencing much higher rates of rodent reports.

“Normally in summer we might get one call a week for rodent activity,” he said.

“What we’re having now is probably up to eight to 10 jobs a week.”

So while your shit, damp sharehouse fills up with mysterious black mould, keep an eye out for funnel web spiders and rats too!