If there’s one thing we know to be true about the internet, it’s that it will never, EVER pass up an opportunity give things utterly ridiculous names given half an opportunity.
Lest we forget the trials and tribulations of Boaty McBoatface. Or even more historical examples like my personal favourite, the Fred Durst Society of the Humanities and Arts in Austin, Texas.
What’s baffling, though, is that officials, bureaucrats and the like are all still very willing to hand the responsibility of giving things arbitrary names over to the public.
To wit, construction on the Melbourne Metro train tunnel project begins in earnest next year, which will see the construction of 5 new underground train stations servicing the city from north to south.
And because who could resist such a glorious trainwreck metaphor in their circumstances, Public Transport Victoria will apparently “consider” public suggestions for the names of these new stations.
Currently, the five stations have the working titles of Arden, Parkville, CBD North, CBD South, and Domain. It is likely that at least some of those will change by the time construction is complete.
Melbourne Lord Mayor Robert Doyle, a devout Geelong Cats fan, has already put forth a pair of decidedly footy-based suggestions for the stations.
“Part of me says Selwood for CBD North and Dangerfield for CBD South, but in reality perhaps Latrobe and Hoddle would be more appropriate.”
Whilst PTV does state that any name suggestions would have to be “within state government naming guidelines,” whatever the hell that means. But that’s certainly not going to stop any of you from sending in every meme-related gag you can think of.
Hell, we’ve taken the liberty of naming the new network ourselves. The Government cannot – CANNOT – look us in the eye and state that what they come up with would be better and/or more accurate.
Imagine it. “Now arriving on platform 2, HERE COME DAT BOI.“
There’s no dedicated public feedback form for names just yet, and you’d imagine that they wouldn’t be stupid enough to open it up to a vote at any stage.
But lord knows stranger things have happened beneath the streets of Melbourne City.
Source: 9News.
Photo: Michael Dodge/Getty.
