“Loose” Brisbane Man Found Buck Naked Inside Historic Pipe Organ

A 51-year-old Brisbane man has been accused of causing a ruckus inside a historic pipe organ, after he was found naked and surrounded by the remnants of a half-eaten cheeseburger at the city’s Masonic Memorial Centre on Wednesday night.

Glenn Langford, a former Freemason himself, allegedly damaged the incredibly expensive pipe organ after drunkenly breaking into the Brisbane hall. It is alleged Langford opened taps and flooded the premises, which then set off a fire alarm alerting authorities to his presence.

When he was arrested, he was found with a remote-controlled police car, and a toy gun.

Really quickly, we feel the need to reiterate these are actual allegations laid against Langford. We did not make this up. Nobody made this up. Langford really does stand accused of breaking in, getting buck naked, and damaging the instrument and a surrounding wall.

Langford’s lawyer told the court yesterday his client had recently lost his job and experienced the dissolution of his relationship, and had downed a bottle of Johnnie Walker whiskey before launching into his endeavours.

Outside court, Langford told Channel 7 he originally intended to distribute burgers to the homeless. He added things “got a little loose” and that he was planning to see a “shrink” after the incident.

He had no explanation for why he got naked.

“I apologise to all the righteous Freemasons everywhere,” Langford said.

Langford was granted bail, and released on the condition he not come within 100 metres of the Centre.

Correction: a previous version of this story incorrectly listed the accused as a Freemason. He is a former Freemason.