Yesterday’s anti-lockdown protest in Melbourne was attended by people with all the shittest ideas: anti-vaxxers, 5G conspiracy theorists, and people who believe Bill Gates should be arrested for creating the coronavirus pandemic (he absolutely did not).

To top it all off, they protesters couldn’t decide whether the pandemic was a hoax (it’s not) or if it was a deliberate plot to take over the world (again, it’s not).

But it was their signs which caught the attention of Aussie Twitter and had everyone asking: who the fuck is Dom, and why does he need to be freed?

Is Dom in danger? Does he need help? We absolutely had to get to the bottom of it.

But then kink Twitter got wind of the protest, and people released released they might have actually been demanding free dominatrices.

That would also warrant a huge protest on the steps of state parliament in Melbourne, no doubt. Subs of Victoria, rise up!

Ok, so we’ve established the meaning of the “free” part. But the jury was still out as to whether it was “free dom” or “free Dom”.

Dom Perignon is not exactly cheap these days. It’s the new petrol.

Free bubbly? Don’t mind if I do.

Maybe this is something worth getting after all…

That is, if they weren’t a bunch of conspiracy theorists breaching the two-person gathering limit to falsely preach that the coronavirus pandemic is a hoax.

This shit is irresponsible and a threat to public health.

On second thought, you can keep your dom.

Image: AAP / Scott Barbour