Yesterday’s anti-lockdown protest in Melbourne was attended by people with all the shittest ideas: anti-vaxxers, 5G conspiracy theorists, and people who believe Bill Gates should be arrested for creating the coronavirus pandemic (he absolutely did not).
To top it all off, they protesters couldn’t decide whether the pandemic was a hoax (it’s not) or if it was a deliberate plot to take over the world (again, it’s not).
But it was their signs which caught the attention of Aussie Twitter and had everyone asking: who the fuck is Dom, and why does he need to be freed?
Is Dom in danger? Does he need help? We absolutely had to get to the bottom of it.
Why are people outside parliament protesting to Free Dom? Who’s Dom and what’s he done?! #FreeDom pic.twitter.com/qzqcqDeU6z
— Jack gilbert (@J_Gilbert23) May 10, 2020
If we learnt anything from the #protestors in #Melbourne today it is this: (1) We need to free ‘Dom’ (whoever he is) & (2) Landscape is a much more user-friendly layout for protest signs https://t.co/h1uLP3ciQb
— AnthChristo (@AnthChristo) May 10, 2020
i see Free Dom trending and my dumb bitch head thinks it's fuckin Dom from AC pic.twitter.com/oAjlPhvKMB
— pastelsparkles ???? (@pastelsparkless) May 10, 2020
Australia is legitimately turning into a South Park episode. Free Dom. Free hat. pic.twitter.com/tpUg1zrzVf
— Sam Tee (@SamTee1989) May 10, 2020
But then kink Twitter got wind of the protest, and people released released they might have actually been demanding free dominatrices.
That would also warrant a huge protest on the steps of state parliament in Melbourne, no doubt. Subs of Victoria, rise up!
????????????us subs demand a free dom and we won't stop till we get one???????????? https://t.co/TSl5CLHTsV pic.twitter.com/ij9LPfzF4v
— void (@iiVoid) May 10, 2020
Hmm I too want a….free…dom? pic.twitter.com/FXKR7iUCof
— ed (@macaulaybalkan) May 10, 2020
I'm not a sub, but am sharing this in case anyone wants a free dom!
— Stephen Dedman. Writer-in-residence in residence. (@stephenmdedman) May 10, 2020
I want a free dom. The one I have now charges 100$ an hour.
— Daniel Romanski (@daniel38733074) May 10, 2020
Ok, so we’ve established the meaning of the “free” part. But the jury was still out as to whether it was “free dom” or “free Dom”.
Dom Perignon is not exactly cheap these days. It’s the new petrol.
Fight for your free Dom Perignon
— a lakeside identity (@daveandmads) May 10, 2020
Free bubbly? Don’t mind if I do.
Free Dom? I'm in … pic.twitter.com/3noB97iS4c
— David (@Couchsocialist) May 10, 2020
Look, free Dom would be great, but if not, free Krug or even free Pol Roger would be OK pic.twitter.com/Sr1M8L6iTF
— Angus M-a-c-i-n-n-i-s (@AequoEtBono) May 10, 2020
Maybe this is something worth getting after all…
That is, if they weren’t a bunch of conspiracy theorists breaching the two-person gathering limit to falsely preach that the coronavirus pandemic is a hoax.
This shit is irresponsible and a threat to public health.
On second thought, you can keep your dom.
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