An ‘Intense’ Four-Day Heatwave Is Coming To Barbeque The Eastern States Like A Rotisserie Chicken

Sharon on Kath & Kim sunburnt asking Kim if she looks a bit burnt as Eastern States set to experience 'intense' four-day heatwave

In devastating news for your armpits, it looks like the east coast will be copping a four-day heatwave. A scorching, revolting long weekend gifted to you by the sun, if you will.

According to Weatherzone, Brisbane, Sydney, Canberra and Melbourne will bear the brunt of the “intense” hot n’ heavy conditions.

Things will start getting balmy in Brisvegas and Sydney on Thursday as temperatures move into the mid-thirties, but the latter should have a bit of respite on Friday.

And by “respite”, I mean temperatures in the low thirties. It could be worse, but if you’re a sweaty Betty like me (it’s a natural bodily function, OK!), temperatures around the 32C mark still feel stanky.

The alleged “respite” is short lived, however, as parts of Western Sydney could top 40C on Sunday — the second time this month the temperature has reached the big four-oh. A truly cruel manoeuvre from Mother Nature on what is meant to be a day of rest.

Sydney’s Observatory Hill weather station is forecast to record temperatures of 30C or higher from Thursday to Sunday, making it the first time in 165 years that Sydney has experienced four consecutive autumn days at or above 30C. How do them apples taste, Guinness World Records?

Melbourne is set to reach a high of 36C on Saturday which, fun fact, could be the hottest autumn day the city has copped in a decade. Congratulations!

Over to Canberra, the temperature is predicted to hit a top of 35C. In the immortal words of Nanny Fine from The Nanny, it’s set to be schvitzy.

Bureau of Metrology senior meteorologist Olenka Duma told PerthNow we can blame La Niña’s blistering and dry brother El Niño for the roasting conditions — especially in NSW.

“For this time of the year we are expecting generally these conditions to bring low intensity heatwave conditions to mostly coastal parts of NSW from (Friday) and over the weekend,” she said.

“These hot, dry and windy conditions are expected to bring some elevated fire danger to particularly the ranges and western slopes of NSW today and over the next few days, with fire danger peaking on Thursday and also on Sunday.”

And there you have it. Stay cool and maybe don’t sit on a leather couch this weekend, lest you want to be peeled off.