WATCH: The New ‘Fifty Shades Freed’ Trailer Is A Gigantic Horny Mess

The latest trailer for the upcoming Fifty Shades Freed film is here, and folks, let us tell you that it’s one horny mess.

We’ve already seen the rampantly thirsty trailer that featured one billion shots of Jamie Dornan‘s abs, so this new trailer throws in something extra: guns! violence! a maniac dude who is weirdly obsessed with the new Mrs. Anastasia Grey! (No, not Christian. Some other, less groomed guy.)

But first, a highlight reel of Anastasia and Christian’s love story. The office stumble! The chest touching! Some other stuff! It’s like a cheesy fan fiction come to life – wait a minute.

Is that wedding dress hanging from a chandelier?

Then, after a montage of just how fucking rich Christian is, we have the big dramatic bit: guns, car chases, some definite fingering happening in front of a mirror. The usual tropes of the genre.

In the final seconds, we also learn that Anastasia is pregnant. Confusing, because I seem to remember birth control pills being discussed at length in the first book, but what do I know. Pills fail, and Anastasia is so charmingly clumsy that she probably popped the thing straight into her lung.

Anyway, here’s the trailer that asks, what if you were hot and also insanely rich, with a fulfilling sex life and relationship to boot? Starting to clock why this series became so popular, to be honest.

It comes out on February 14th, because of course it does.

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