Federal Parliament Shut Down Due To COVID Case But Don’t Worry, They Don’t Do Any Work Anyway

Parliament House

Australian Federal Parliament has been forced to shut its doors after a staff member for Adam Bandt tested positive.

The Greens staffer tested positive on their return to Victoria following the final two weeks of parliamentary sittings.

The Federal MP for the electorate of Melbourne is in isolation pending further testing. According to News Corp authorities believe the virus to have spread between the 30th of November and the 2nd of December.

As per the ABC, a spokesperson for Mr Bandt said that other members of the politician’s team had since tested negative:

“Mr Bandt has been tested and is isolating until he receives a result. He is fully vaccinated and not symptomatic.”

“Other members of the team have been tested and returned negative results.”

Masks were mandatory for in Parliament House for the final two sitting weeks of the year so out fingers are crossed mama-COVID doesn’t spread her tentacles too far across the country.

News of the outbreak comes after the Coalition’s planned calendar for the first half of 2022 revealed there would be just 10 parliamentary sitting days.

10 days. Are you fkn kidding me?

In 2014, Parliament sat for 63 days across the whole year meaning that they sat for approximately triple the time these lazy dickheads are proposing for the first half of 2022.

Another reason this sucks is because lately parliament has been surprisingly spicy and we want MORE.

It’s like watching a slow motion car crash and we simply CANNOT look away.

Just to name a few:

Peter Dutton was called a ‘potato head’ and a ‘boof head’ by various MPs.

Meanwhile, Parliamentary goblin Craig Kelly was appointed to the Parliament’s social media inquiry, despite being banned from Facebook for being a misinformation troll.

And finally, Lidia Thorpe was booted out of the Senate for a dress code violation after wearing a BLM shirt. 

Never a dull moment, eh?