The only thing Sydneysiders love more than overcrowded beaches during lockdown is Sydney’s overpriced real estate. We bloody froth the stuff, even though it’s literally pricing us out of our own neighbourhoods so some boomer investor jacked up to the eyeballs on franking credits can buy their sixth investment property.

Over the past year or so, there’ve been some real doozies when it comes to derelict Sydney shitboxes selling for more than many of us can even dream about paying for a home.

This comes at a time when researchers could only identify three (3!!!) rental properties in the whole country that someone on JobSeeker can afford. Clearly, something Not Good™ is going on.

Instead of crying, let’s laugh. Not only is laughter the best medicine, but it’s also a surprisingly effective form of revenge against the fragile egos of Sydney landlords.

Without further ado, here are the biggest shockers from Sydney real estate which somehow managed to sell for over $1.5 million in recent months.

The Strathfield sludge pool – $5.5 million

Real Estate
Still cool for the summer? (Belle Property Strathfield)

This sprawling hovel with a sludge-filled pool was tipped to sell for an already-insane $4 million. Instead, it ended up going for $5.5 million. Very fucking cool.

The five-bedroom property had been abandoned or the past year or so and was actually listed for auction by the NSW Trustee and Guardian. It really was a case of the worst house on the best street (in Strathfield).

On auction day, the bidding even had to be held outdoors in the rain because the stench inside was so bloody rancid.

Anyway, the block of land is expected to be subdivided into two lots. Goodbye, sludge pool. Peep more pics at the listing here.

The one-bedroom squat in Camperdown – $1.6 million

Sydney Real Estate
This looks more like a shed belonging to the neighbouring house. (LJ Hooker Newtown)

A tiny little house in Camperdown – just 1.4 metres wide – somehow managed to sell for $1.62 million at auction because, well, that’s Sydney for ya. And FYI, that was still $520,000 over the reserve.

This tiny sliver of land ended up costing $12,756 per square metre, which is more than the most expensive mansion in Sydney over in Point Piper.

The one-bedroom home also has a dilapidated kitchen and bathroom, and it was recently home to a squatter. Suffice to say, nobody’s expected to live there anytime soon.

“It’s all about the potential to knock it down and rebuild,” the real estate agent told the NCA NewsWire. Peep more pics at the listing here.

The Putney fibro shack – $4 million

Sydney real estate
Stunning, absolutely stunning. That’ll be $4 million, thanks. (First National: Hunters Hill, Gladesville & Ryde)

This 1940s fibro shack in the lovely but unremarkable upper-middle class suburb of Putney went for $3,982,000 at auction, almost a million bucks over the reserve.

It was so geared at investors/developers, in fact, that the listing didn’t even include photos of the interior. Because who needs to see yet another disheveled kitchen when it’s surely going to be knocked down, anyway.

The one thing this place has going for it is a view over the Parramatta River near the start of Western Sydney. Even its street is named Waterview St, which is a bit of a flex.

You can peep more pics of this house which may well have been knocked down by the time you read this at its listing here.

A literal shed in Glebe – $1.8 million

real estate
No words. (Belle Property Glebe)

We don’t even need to embellish this listing with shit-talk because the real estate agent did it for us, referring to this Glebe property as a “dilapidated, free-standing brick and corrugated iron warehouse.”

It ended up fetching ‘dream home’ money at auction, with the lucky(?) buyers paying $1,830,000. That’s comfortably above the reserve, of course.

Despite its three sinks, the shed looks pretty uncomfortable to live in as is. That’s why it was sold for its “development potential”, especially considering its trendy location.

And in case you needed any confirmation, yes, the interior does look just like the exterior implies. Check out more pics over at the listing here.

The Surry Hills ruins – $4.6 million

Sydney real estate
It’s unclear if any drug barons were murdered here. (BresicWhitney Darlinghurst)

A trap-house-esque home in Surry Hills, complete with rotting floorboards and caved-in ceilings (that’s not to mention the extensive water damage) managed to snag $4,621,000 at auction.

But, as they say: location, location, location. Surry Hills is a great and highly sought-after neighbourhood in Sydney, and the property is quite big, too.

That said, the whole thing is still pretty ridiculous. The home hadn’t been maintained for the past 30 years and certain rooms had to be cordoned off during inspection because they were simply too dangerous to enter.

The real estate agent reckoned the home could be worth up to $8 million if done up nicely. See the evidence for yourself over at the listing here.

Honourable mentions

Sydney property developers, for some unknown reason, have an obsession with building apartments which have toilets and/or other bathroom amenities in the kitchen.

Could we possibly interest you in a Surry Hills flat where the bathroom and kitchen are divided by… a pane of glass? Or how about we jack things up a notch with this Glebe flat that has its shitter fully exposed in the kitchen. Maybe a Darlinghurst apartment with a spar shoehorned into the kitchen bench is more up your alley? Cursed, the lot of ’em!

Also shoutout to the eight-year-old kid who bought an entire block of units. Extremely Sydney energy, here.

Maybe we can aspire to such financially precocious dreams in the next life.