Because office jobs tend to numb the even the sharpest brain from time to time, every one of us who has earned a crust from behind a desk has committed some sort of balls up while navigating the proclivities of workmates with razor-thin trigger points and suffered the consequences.
It doesn’t matter what; be it forgetting Sandra from HR’s cat’s funeral and being excluded from Tuesday afternoon tea for a month, or accidentally losing David from Sales’ mini basketball and having to stifle laughter as he sends a howlingly cooked mass email about it, or having to buy Slagathor from the Department of Hell a new creepy doll to soothe his feelings after remarking that his existing collection of them all “smell like Satan’s anus” despite the fact that they do, in fact, contain portions of the Devil’s actual butthole.
We’ve all done it. We’ve all crossed paths with a rotten workplace unit. We’ve all suffered professional turmoil as a result.
[jwplayer gvkTjsCy]
Just be thankful though, that none of you have ever gone quite as bung on quite as high a target than Quinn Cummings, who shared what might well be the most magnificent story of workplace foot-in-mouth you’re ever likely to see.
Cummings, a former child actor who now works as a writer, shared a story from her time as a Hollywood talent agent that honestly has to be read to be believed.
The story goes that after quitting acting, Cummings began working in the office of noted agent Susan Smith, a beloved figure in Hollywood who helped discover the likes of Kathy Bates and, in this story, Brian Dennehy. But a figure who, like most other prominent agents, might well have been clinically insane.
Cummings took to Twitter earlier today to share the story regarding Dennehy, a long-wanted production of Death of a Salesman, a Tony Award acceptance speech, and a very unfortunate choice of photo.
Strap yourselves in for this one, mates. It’s a bloody ride-and-a-half.
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303097178673152
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303099128991744
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303100521508864
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303101813448704
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303107148603397
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303108570378241
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303110172622848
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303111426723841
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303112970264577
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303114312441856
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303115499450373
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303117265199104
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060303118716428288
Unbelievable. UNBELIEVABLE.
Somehow, it got better.
After the thread went viral, Dennehy’s daughter Kathleen Dennehy jumped into the replies and added a little extra spice to the whole shebang.
https://twitter.com/jakedenn23/status/1060324084846755845
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060327005483229185
https://twitter.com/jakedenn23/status/1060343530843922432
https://twitter.com/quinncy/status/1060343987305766912
I mean, this whole thing is worthy of a standing ovation, frankly. Beautiful, awkward, hilarious, and magnificently written. Good gear all around.
And that’s why you don’t have to feel too bad the next time you bring in Choc Wheatens in for Biscuit Day even though you know that Wilhelm is allergic to chocolate and wheat.
