In an unusually hot summer, in the middle of a World Cup, and in a year where the national football team is finally good again, the citizens of England are being rudely brought back down to earth thanks to the horror of all horrors: The rationing of beer.
The unthinkable situation is being thrust upon the thirsty citizens of the United Kingdom thanks to a national shortage of gas. More specifically, carbon dioxide, which is causing at least one major wholesaler of the good lord’s amber piss to severely limit the amount it gives out to pubs and retailers.
Booker, a froth dog wholesaler owned by British giants Tesco, has put a cap on the amount of beers available to pubs and retailers, limiting businesses to a mere 10 cases or 300 cans per day. In World Cup terms, that’s about enough to cover the time between the teams walking onto the pitch through to the start of the first national anthem.
The CO2 shortage has hit Europe particularly hard this summer, but the UK is feeling the effects the hardest. Spokespeople for Heineken have warned drinkers in the UK that kegs of various products – including the ever-popular Amstel – may simply not be available in England during the shortage.
We’d like to reassure beer drinkers that all our breweries are operating at full capacity, and we’re working 24/7 to get beers to our customers as quickly as possible.
The shortage, remarkably, is a direct result of issues with the production of fertiliser. The Carbon Dioxide used to carbonate beer is a by-product of the ammonia produced for usage in fertiliser products, and several of the major ammonia plants across Europe have all ceased operation temporarily in order to undergo maintenance. In England, only one ammonia plant is operating at full capacity at present, making the issue in the UK far more acute than anywhere else in Europe.
It’s not just beer that’s feeling the effects of the shortage either. CO2 is a chief component in the production of a raft of food sectors like meat, food packaging, and frozen food delivery.
Still, with England well ensconced in World Cup proceedings and over two full weeks left to run in the tournament, the beer shortage is clearly the most pressing.
Particularly when a lot of it has become needlessly airborne.
https://twitter.com/tomstent/status/1008823096789422080
This is how #England fans reacted to going 1-0 up against #Panama!😲
Filmed at the @HQSportsBar1 in Dunstable, Bedfordshire.🎉🍺#England #eng #worldcup #WorldCup18 #englandpanama #ENGPAN #ThreeLions @EnglidsAway @EnglandFansTwi @3Lions_ #ItsComingHomepic.twitter.com/0LeTneEA96
— Ollie Bayliss (@Ollie_Bayliss) June 25, 2018
Heads, shoulders knee’s and Stones. Scenes at @BoxparkCroydon #ThreeLions #englandaway pic.twitter.com/JMTPkreDWf
— England Football Fans (@EnglidsAway) June 24, 2018
From now on if you’re gonna keep doing that, lads, maybe run around with your mouths open afterwards.
Waste not want not, etc.
