The fact that you clicked on this article means that you have an interest, in some capacity, about eels being removed from bums, and for that I say, welcome to the club, friend. I think we’ll get along.
Now, onto the debacle – a man in his 50s nearly died recently after inserting an eel up his bottom to “cure constipation”.
The man checked himself in to Dongguan Huangjiang Hospital, in Guangdong, China, after citing abdominal pains, hospital records show.
“We suspected that there was a foreign object in his abdominal cavity from a CT scan,” Dr Li told Chinese media. “But we couldn’t tell where it came from.”
What happened next was, uh, rather unexpected. An Asian swamp eel was discovered while performing a colonoscopy, resulting in surgeons having to remove the 40-centimetre-long serpent from the patient’s abdomen.
The eel had allegedly ripped up the guy’s intestines before dying in his abdomen, Daily Mail reported.
“It had completely entered the abdominal cavity and already been dead,” Di Li reported.
“Because it was a live eel, the possibility of death is very high if the surgery was not done timely.”
Footage of the removal can be seen over on Guangdong Television and UNILAD. It’s super fucking gory, though, so let’s just look at this blurred image of the eel instead.
The eel-inserter waited a few days after the surgery until he fessed up, claiming that he’d heard local tales about eels curing constipation and thought he’d give it a shot.
Needless, to say it turned out to be a shitshow.
If you learn one thing tonight, may it be to avoided putting a live eel into your rectum. Poor eel.
