Aussie Scientists Have Discovered That Echidnas Have Massive Dicks And Cum Out Of Two Holes

Newsflash: male echidnas are packing. Bigger newsflash: scientists have just discovered that they only cum out of two of their four dick heads at any one time.

We know, it’s a lot to take in. Literally and metaphorically.

Scientists from the University of Melbourne, the University of Queensland, Monash University and the Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary on the Gold Coast have found that male echidnas are simply wired to ejaculate out of two of their four penis heads. It also means that only two of their heads actually get hard at once, while the other two remain flaccid.

If you’re still finding it hard to imagine what this looks like, just picture a single penis with four heads flaying out like (in the researchers’ own words) a “rosette”. Alternatively, look below:

It looked at me first. (Supplied / Jane Fenelon)

Now you’re probably wondering which two of the four penis heads actually become erect and cum. Well the answer, according to this new research, is that they actually alternate between subsequent erections.

“We’re not sure exactly why they only use two glans at any one time,” Dr Jane Fenelon, Professor Marilyn Renfree and Associate Professor Stephen Johnston commented.

“It’s possible that it’s to do with male competition for females. By alternating the use of each side our tame echidna can ejaculate 10 times without significant pause, potentially allowing him to out-mate less efficient males.”

Nature is just so beautiful.

The research paper also noted that male echidnas’ testes never dropped and they therefore have no scrote.

On top of that, when they’re not getting their fucc on, echidnas’ meaty schlongs actually retract into their bodies. Behold:

Hmm… (Supplied / Jane Fenelon)

So now we know that not only do echidnas have a whopping dick-to-body ratio, but that they also have three more penis heads than the average human male.

There are just so many mind-blowing facts about echidna dicks and we are immensely grateful to the hardworking Aussie scientist who uncovered these deets for us.

Monotremes – the group of egg-laying mammals that’s unique to Australia – are bloody weird. Aside from four species of echidna, the only other member of the family is the platypus.

The thing is, nobody’s ever seen the fabled platypus boner just yet. Hopefully, that’s next.