UK Dude Avoids Drug Charges By Not Shitting For 47 Days

Wayyy across the pond, news surfaced of a man who refused to take a shit for 47 days because he was trying to avoid a coupla drug charges. The man, Lamarr Chambers from Harlow, Essex had been arrested and charged on two counts of possessing drugs. Chambers had apparently swallowed a sack of drugs containing cocaine and heroine before his arrest by Essex’s street gang and crime enforcement unit, Operator Raptor West.

Once in jail, Chambers refused to take any shit-inducing laxatives and refused an x-ray so the police decided to wait it out ‘cos he’d inevitably take a poop…right? Wrong. Despite eating and drinking everyday for more than a month, Chambers’ arsehole was puckered as tight as well I-don’t-know-what and 47 days later, police dropped the charges on the advice of their legal team.

But wait – it actually gets better ‘cos the police decided to hit Twitter with quality updates otherwise known as #poowatch. And no, I’m not making this up.

Exhibit A:

Context: So the man was arrested on January 17 2018 and the police were very confident they’d get the guy to take a shit.

Note the date of January 19 2018.

And then the #poowatch begins.

Imagine going 336 hours without taking a dump. All that valuable reading time down the dummy.

So then the police were pretty shook and returned to court to ask for an eight-day extension.

Essex police also tweeted that a doctor saw Chambers everyday but he still refused to do a poop.

Okay, this tweet is just funny.

Chambers had reportedly been in a standard cell with two police officers for company all day and all night.

And the final tweet ‘cos it appears the police gave up tweeting after that.

Skip ahead 25 days and a bit later, police lost their shit and released the 24-year-old who was sent straight to the hospital.

Enjoy your Friday evening, friends.