Wayyy across the pond, news surfaced of a man who refused to take a shit for 47 days because he was trying to avoid a coupla drug charges. The man, Lamarr Chambers from Harlow, Essex had been arrested and charged on two counts of possessing drugs. Chambers had apparently swallowed a sack of drugs containing cocaine and heroine before his arrest by Essex’s street gang and crime enforcement unit, Operator Raptor West.
Once in jail, Chambers refused to take any shit-inducing laxatives and refused an x-ray so the police decided to wait it out ‘cos he’d inevitably take a poop…right? Wrong. Despite eating and drinking everyday for more than a month, Chambers’ arsehole was puckered as tight as well I-don’t-know-what and 47 days later, police dropped the charges on the advice of their legal team.
But wait – it actually gets better ‘cos the police decided to hit Twitter with quality updates otherwise known as #poowatch. And no, I’m not making this up.
Exhibit A:
Context: So the man was arrested on January 17 2018 and the police were very confident they’d get the guy to take a shit.
Note the date of January 19 2018.
https://twitter.com/OpRaptorWest/status/954051963980795906?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.sbs.com.au%2Fnews%2Fbritish-police-tweet-strange-case-of-poowatch
And then the #poowatch begins.
https://twitter.com/OpRaptorWest/status/958727249607512064
Imagine going 336 hours without taking a dump. All that valuable reading time down the dummy.
So then the police were pretty shook and returned to court to ask for an eight-day extension.
https://twitter.com/OpRaptorWest/status/959087127572213760
Essex police also tweeted that a doctor saw Chambers everyday but he still refused to do a poop.
Okay, this tweet is just funny.
https://twitter.com/OpRaptorWest/status/960558845885108224
Chambers had reportedly been in a standard cell with two police officers for company all day and all night.
And the final tweet ‘cos it appears the police gave up tweeting after that.
https://twitter.com/OpRaptorWest/status/961661312764964864
Skip ahead 25 days and a bit later, police lost their shit and released the 24-year-old who was sent straight to the hospital.
Enjoy your Friday evening, friends.
