Sloppy toppy? In my motor vehicle? It’s more likely than you’d think.
An Aussie driver was slapped with a meaty fine of $1078 and stripped of four demerit points for what has been described as a “high-risk” act. I believe this act may have been a case of the ol’ guzzle guzzle. Some dickalingus. A bit of road head.
Every time something is described as “high-risk” or “graphic” I immediately assume it’s a sexual act. Authorities just don’t like getting down and dirty with sexual lingo — they’re almost as secretive as nuns.
If you have to ask “what does ‘high-risk’ mean, officer?” the answer is probably that they didn’t want to say that someone was singing into the pink karaoke machine while going down the highway. I’m just saying.
I mean, the last time an act was described as “graphic”, we could clearly see a woman munching on her man’s caboose in the middle of a Sydney shopping area.
An image of the driver (most likely) receiving some premium dome was shared to the Phone and Seatbelt Detection Camera Locations Queensland Facebook group. The photo was reportedly taken on the Pacific Motorway in Queensland’s Upper Coomera.
Please have a gander at the goose getting sucked off (probably).
“She got that at a weird angle!” wrote one commenter.
“I thought it was a dog at first,” wrote another.
“Pretty sure they’re asleep lol,” wrote a third.
All very good theories, my friends.
Now look, this figure could very easily be asleep on the driver’s lap, but that’s not as convincing as the idea that they were providing the driver with some peenie cleanie. Some glug glug. A bit of no denture adventure. It’s also not as exciting.
Why is the driver’s hand on them like that? Ma’am that’s a blowjob hand. Men always do this weird spread when they’re getting their meat candle waxed that’s kinda hot in the moment. I could spot it from a mile away.
But then again, a caring person would also want their sleeping passenger to be safe on their lap. Maybe it’s love? Maybe I’m just a debaucherous cretin à la James Corden.
Per the Courier Mail, The Department of Transport and Main Roads (DTMR) stressed that the unnamed act was “high-risk behaviour” that could cause a crash on the road. The infringement in question was “passengers not wearing a seatbelt or wearing it incorrectly.”
I don’t know friends, if this person was asleep would the DTMR be so shady about it? Sleeping on the driver isn’t acceptable at all, but is it as violently distracting as someone going downtown while you veer left? Or taking the low way on the highway? I’m not convinced.
If you need me I’m going to be enhancing this image like a member of CSI. I will find the truth.
