Start enacting your doomsday scenarios, friends. Judgment day isn’t just coming, it’s bloody well here.

Australians are waking up this inglorious Monday to discover the nation has fallen into the grips of a hellish garlic bread shortage, the likes of which we have never seen, nor expected, in our history.

The unfathomable shortage, clear evidence that not only does God exist but he thinks we kicked his dog, is the result of a recall by major manufacturer George Weston Foods, which was issued mid-last week after traces of plastic were found in the margarine used in the bread loaves, necessitating a halt in all garlic bread production for the company.

Pieces of Teflon coating had been found in a margarine blender filter last Wednesday, with the source of the “foreign material contamination” isolated to a manufacturing plant in Queensland. The company issued a statement confirming the halt in production:

“GWF has immediately suspended production, and the contaminated batch has been traced. A thorough list of all potentially affected products has been developed, and GWF has issued a recall notification to its food service customers.”

GWF’s garlic bread is shipped to major suppliers including Dominos Pizza, Pizza Hut, and a big range of major supermarkets. Both Dominos and Pizza Hut have subsequently removed garlic bread from their menus for the time being.

People are dealing with it ~well~:

They tell you to hoard water and canned goods in case the world goes bung, but no one ever warned us of a horrid day when the garlic bread would run out.

Maybe people simply did not want to face such an awful vision of the future. Maybe we couldn’t bring ourselves to believe it could actually happen.

But either way, we did nothing. And we are now paying a dear, dear price.

Source: Courier Mail.