Brainlord Trump Says He Called Tim Cook ‘Tim Apple’ To “Save Time & Words”

US President Donald Trump claims he referred to Apple and its CEO Tim Cook as ‘Tim Apple’ in a televised meeting last week as a time-saving measure, a blatant lie that’s almost too funny to contest.

[jwplayer pxg4NllT]

Taking to Twitter this morning, Trump defended his comments at the Workforce Policy Advisory Board meeting, saying “The Fake News” had absolutely misinterpreted his big-brained efficiency as another instance of questionable mental fortitude.

It’s a bold claim from a man who once referred to Lockheed CEO Marillyn Hewson as Marillyn Lockheed. It’s even bolder when you recognise ‘Tim Apple’ actually has one more time-eating syllable than ‘Tim Cook’.

We implore you to look at the tape for the full context of his comment, too.

We also ask you recall his argumentatively similar response to the obviously butt-dialed “covfefe” tweet, and ask yourself when you have ever, ever, seen Trump worry about speaking too much or for too long.

In summation, one of the most powerful men on Earth was embarrassed enough by misnaming an executive that he took to Twitter to call everyone else dummies. Good gear.

There’s another potential reason Trump defended himself in a clearly indefensible position: his 2020 budget policy request, released overnight, calls for a 5% increase in military spending and billions for his pet US-Mexico border wall while docking funds earmarked for education, Medicare, Social Security, and the Environmental Protection Agency.

The budget proposal has already been torn apart by leading Democrats, who will likely curtail its most brutal measures, and Trump may have thought to throw this morning’s ‘Tim Apple’ tweet as a smokebomb to temporarily distract punters from his record-breaking financial requests.

In any case, we must reiterate: Tim Apple.