There is, and I cannot stress this enough, a whole hell of a lot to unpack here. You might be following along tangentially with the saga of US President Donald Trump and a photo of a dog that he simply refuses to publicly name. By itself, an insane spectacle in a grand Presidential library of insane spectacles. This morning however, Trump has apparently taken it upon himself to ramp that rather ridiculous scenario up a few notches by, for all intents and purposes, awarding the dog a medal via Photoshop.
Again, there’s a bit to unpack here, you might want to settle in.
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Just to catch you up, Trump, with the entire weight of the office he somehow occupies behind him, used his Presidential powers to declassify a picture of a dog two days ago.
We have declassified a picture of the wonderful dog (name not declassified) that did such a GREAT JOB in capturing and killing the Leader of ISIS, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi! pic.twitter.com/PDMx9nZWvw
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 28, 2019
That dog, in his words, did a “GREAT JOB” as part of the military unit that captured and killed ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. The name of the dog was not declassified, however, presumably because revealing the dog’s name is “Zeus” or “Odin” or “General Pats-on” or whatever would clearly compromise his on-going safety.
This morning, and again I stress this a real thing, Trump posted a subsequent shot of the dog featuring himself awarding it some sort of paw-shaped medal that even my Nan, who’s running Windows ME on an Acer laptop in 2019, would recognise as Photoshopped.
AMERICAN HERO! pic.twitter.com/XCCa2sGfsZ
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 30, 2019
Even stranger, that post is now the Pinned Tweet at the top of his constantly-moving Twitter profile.
The original photo is from 2017, when Trump awarded a Medal of Honor to Vietnam War veteran James McLoughan, who looks like he knew even then he would one day be shunted out of his own spotlight for a dog.
Wonder how James McCloughan feels about this…?https://t.co/8QOVQ5pBVahttps://t.co/VsDrgq7gQD pic.twitter.com/DezH4OJRs5
— Jeryl Bier (@JerylBier) October 30, 2019
That is some Inanimate Carbon Rod shit if ever I saw it.
Bafflingly enough, the dog (again, name not known) has a standing invitation to visit the White House whenever he wants.
I cannot express the amount of money I will pay to see someone feed it a secret “sit” command during the national anthem.
