According to science, dolphins have human-like clitorises and big old lesbian sex. Love that for them and their other blowhole.

The findings come from a study published in the Current Biology journal which found that dolphins have clitorises “similar to humans” that evolved to adapt to sexual pleasure. The sea really said “gay rights!”

Scientists analysed the genitalia of 11 deceased dolphins (RIP) and learned that “the erectile tissue of the clitoral corpus cavernosum is similarly shaped in humans without the ‘S’ shaped bend”. I have literally no idea what that means but it sounds cool, doesn’t it?

“The bend suggests extensibility of the tissue upon erection,” read a part of the study.

Now, there’s something else that I found personally interesting about these gorgeous gorgeous girls as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. Not only do these flipper-fuckers fuck but they have a lot of sex of the homosexual variety.

“They see them having sex year-round, even when the females are not receptive, so not ready to get pregnant and have babies,” marine biologist and researcher Patricia Brennan told the New Scientist.

“And not only do they have sex all the time, [but] they have a lot of homosexual sex as well.”

Honey, you and me both — I say as someone who has famously been single throughout this entire pandemic.

The marine biologist added that in passionate dolphin lesbian lovemaking, females “rub each other’s clitorises with their snouts and their flippers really often.”

Girls! They get shit done. Don’t ever tell me that women aren’t innovators or that the future isn’t female.

“It’s not like every once in a blue moon you’ll see females stimulating each other, it’s actually pretty common,” Brennan clarified before reminding straight men on Hinge that “females also masturbate”.

“If they’re out there seeking all these sexual experiences, it’s likely that it’s probably feeling good.”

Anytime I hear the words “gay sex” and “dolphins” in the same sentence, I can’t help but think of this wild story about a man who slept with an Aussie flight attendant in Dubai who turned out to be a dolphin furry. Read it at your own accord.

Shout to dolphins, man. They’re the scientifically-backed queer icons of the ocean. Where’s their float at Mardi Gras?

Image: Getty Images / [Mike Hill]