Everything sucks right now, and everything is really scary. It’s awful, it’s uncertain, and it’s probably only going to get worse before it gets better. And while it’s certainly tempting, it’s absolutely best that you stop going to the pub. At least for a little while.
Don’t get me wrong here: The pub rules. It’s the best. The pub is a friend to all. But right now, you should not go there.
The Australian Government has yet to issue any sort of formal closure order on pubs, bars, and clubs at this stage; everyone right now is merely subject to the 500-person mass gathering ban. That, it’s gotta be said, does very little for your average busy local watering hole.
This isn’t the case elsewhere. The US, as a major example, has sweeping mandates across several major cities – including New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago – dictating that all bars close for the foreseeable future. The Federal Government there has urged citizens (not banned, mind you) to limit social gatherings to less than 10 people.
Something similar may wind up being the case here very soon. Then again it may not. Regardless, you should not go to the pub for a little bit.
The pub is a fantastic source of stress relief in troubled times. It’s a beautiful bubble where events happening outside it don’t have to matter. You should not go there right now.
As the spread of coronavirus in Australia reaches a critical point, it’s absolutely incumbent on all of us to enact sensible, proactive strategies to best assist with broader on-going efforts. Social distancing is chief among them. Going to the pub immediately voids any efforts you may have put in in that regard.
Social distancing doesn’t exist in the pub. You cannot possibly hope to stand three feet away from everyone else when sinking bulk pints and howling along to Bon Jovi at the top of your lungs.
It blows immensely that hospo workers – some of the most precariously employed types in the country as far as hours, wages, and job security goes – will have to cop this insanity in a significant fashion. Good pubs, the ones that foster their own communities, will look after them in these unthinkable times. The Government, we blindly hope, will look after the rest.
This isn’t even a case of trying to get as many sessions in as you can before the Government cracks down on it. Don’t wait for those idiots to do something. Do it yourself. Stop going to the pub now. You’ve already been there “for the last time” before all this kicks off. It’s already kicked off, it’s already on you to help slow it down, you can go a long way towards doing that by simply not going to the pub.
Don’t go there for Friday knock offs. Don’t go there for the Sunday sesh. Don’t go there for a Tinder date. Don’t go there because some bozo deadshit band is insisting on keeping their gig going during all of this. Don’t go.
Stay home, get booze delivered in, have a Skype dance party with your mates.
Don’t go to the pub right now. It won’t kill you to stay away. Really, the opposite is true here now more than ever.
Just don’t go right now. Don’t be an asshole about all this.
We’ll meet you there for a pint in a few months once this has all blown over. But for now, stay home.
