A fungus that can apparently shrink the human brain, among other not-so-lovely things, has cropped up in Queensland, which seems fine. Totally cool to have a plant out there on the outskirts of Cairns that can cause brain nerve damage and organ failure.

As per The Guardian, the Poison Fire Coral fungus has been spotted by a nature photographer in the suburb of Redlynch just outside of Cairns, a surprise to fungi followers and fun guys, considering it was assumed the bright red growths were only native to Japan and Korea.

The poisons from the fungus are apparently absorbed through skin contact, which can result in dermatitis at the point of contact, and eating it can result in symptoms that range from vomiting, fever, stomach pain, through to brain nerve dysfunction via shrunken cerebellum (your brain shrinks), voluntary movement issues, speech impediments, and death due to multiple organ failure.

Not to mention the hair loss, skin peeling, blood clots, severe loss of white blood cells and platelets, and changes in perception.

It’s also apparently the only poisonous fungus that can hurt you if you touch it, so that’s nice.

In short, just leave this thing the hell alone, or it’ll fuck you sideways through to next week.

Since 1999, there have been a couple of recorded deaths of fools who have eaten both dried and sake-soaked versions of the fungus, both of which were recorded from different areas in Japan.

Those that have been poisoned and treated successfully have basically had to have their systems flushed intravenously with immense amounts of fluid, as well as blood plasma treatment. It’s just not worth it and I’m now second-guessing my desire to lick the forbidden fungus.

In any instance, if you think you or someone you know has been in contact or – heaven forbid – eaten some of this cursed mushroom, call the Poisons Information Centre on immediately on 13 11 26.

Image: Instagram / @fungimap / Ray Palmer