Jesus wept, where do you even begin with this? Nadia Essex once found out a boyfriend was cheating on her after his Fitbit congratulated him on hitting his fitness goals – after he burnt off 500 calories between 2 and 3am on a supposed “night out with the boys”.
Nadia, who’s actually a relationship expert on British reality tv show Celebs Go Dating, shared her story on TikTok which has made me both gasp and wheeze simultaneously.
Jumping on a #breakupstory challenge, where TikToker @megan_boykoff asked for people to stitch onto the back of their video with the moment they realised a relationship had run its course.
“Oh honey, I got a doozy,” Nadia begins.
“When my ex-boyfriend came back from a night out, I woke up in the morning and thought ‘let me make him some breakfast.’
“I got a notification on my Fitbit – the Fitbit we had synced together – that between 2 o’clock and 3 o’clock in the morning last morning, he burned over 500 calories.”
@ladynadiaessex #stitch @megan_boykoff #breakupstory 😂
Nadia then stares down the barrel of the camera with the caption “no need to wait for part 2…” and by this point the cogs are turning over and my brain’s piecing two and two together and I’m fucking howling.
After giving enough time for the penny to drop for everyone watching, Nadia confirms she swiftly dumped the bloke for his cheating ways, and said she definitely did give him breakfast that morning. Probably just not in the way he wanted it.
“I shoved that breakfast where the sun don’t shine, darling.”
Art. This is art. Sure, it would have fucking stung to have that realisation first thing in the morning before you’ve even had your bloody coffee, and your Fitbit can be a mean-ass binch at the best of time, but holy hell Nadia wasn’t wrong – this is a doozy.
I feel like the ex would have been curing that bloody fitness watch to high heaven, going full Scooby-Doo villain and muttering “I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for that meddling watch!”
Meanwhile Nadia should be out here scoring herself a bloody FitBit sponsorship with this heater of a story.
Turns out Nadia’s not alone in finding out her partner’s infidelity through fitness wearables – sharp minds knew this story sounded a bit familiar and remembered that NFL reporter Jane Slater regaled a similar experience back in 2019.
An Ex Boyfriend once got me a Fitbit for Christmas. I loved it. We synched up, motivated each other… didn’t hate it until he was unaccounted for at 4am and his physical activity levels were spiking on the app 🥴wish the story wasn’t real. https://t.co/npRkLJYYz0
— Jane Slater (@SlaterNFL) December 5, 2019
Look if you’re gonna be a total shitbag to your partner, maybe don’t sync up with them on your Fitbit or fitness apps? Or just don’t be a fuckwit – that’s probably the better approach here.
God, I need to take a lap.
