CONTENT WARNING: The following article discusses suicide.
The trial of Michelle Carter, the young American woman who allegedly drove her 18-year-old boyfriend to kill himself when she was just 17, continued today.
Yesterday the court heard as evidence a number of texts that Carter sent, in which she berated her boyfriend, Conrad Roy, for not following through with his suicide plan, and told a friend, Samantha Boardman, that Roy’s eventual death was “my fault“.
Today, prosecutors showed the court two videos found on Roy’s computer, recorded exactly a month before he died. In them, Roy describes his attempts to improve himself, overcome his depression and social anxiety, and “get the cobwebs out” in order to turn his attitude towards himself around.
It’s heartbreaking stuff because it depicts so clearly the kind of loneliness, turmoil and fragile sense of hope that a lot of people deal with in their teens. He calls himself “trash“, but he also admits to having “a lot going for [him]“. He seems excited about a new job as a captain on a tourist boat, even as he seems to struggle with feeling directionless. It’s the kind of thing that’s probably familiar to anyone who struggled with their mental health as a kid.
What the prosecution is arguing, however, is that Carter capitalised on Roy’s depression and provided what most anxious teenagers don’t have: constant external pressure to go through with his suicide plans – so that she could assume the role of the “grieving girlfriend” and be afforded the attention and sympathy she craved.
Some of the text messages between them that were shown to the court are below. Be warned: it’s pretty fucked up.
Carter: “Well are you gonna do it tonight or not?”Roy: “Yeah.”Carter: “Well, it’s getting late. Let me know when. I don’t want to fall asleep. You have to do it soon though if you don’t want anyone to find you in the morning.”Carter: “Are you gonna do it tonight?Roy: “I’m gonna try.”Carter: “How hard are you gonna try?”Roy: “Hard.”Roy: “How was ur day?”Carter: “When are you doing it?”Roy: “What if the suffocation doesn’t work?”Carter: “Well how bad do you want it? Because if you want it bad, you should succeed.”Carter: “I thought you really wanted to die but apparently you don’t. I feel played and just stupid.”Carter: “I still don’t think ur gonna do this so you have to prove me wrong.”
Roy had tried to commit suicide once before, back in 2012, but was stopped when a friend called for help. The videos below show a young man clearly struggling to keep his head above the murk of his depression. The case against Carter is attempting to prove that she held him under until he succumbed.
If convicted, she faces 20 years in prison for involuntary manslaughter.
Source: Buzzfeed News / 9 News.
Image: YouTube.
If you or someone you know is dealing with a mental illness, call BeyondBlue on 1300 22 4636. If you are in distress, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
