Today in news that is extremely obvious, a couple that ponied up the courage to not only buy *the* house from The Conjuring but also LIVE in it have reported some weird-ass shit happening in it. I mean, duh, that place is the Hellmouth for a whole universe of Bad Juju™ of course it’s going to be haunted as shit.

As per Sun Journal, Cory and Jennifer Heinzen (who are also deep in paranormal investigation stuff) fell in love with and bought the house that inspired that bullshit-terrifying 2013 flick The Conjuring, its following sequels, and the wider Conjuring universe. They have learned to love the clearly-haunted abode despite there literally being knocks and bumps in the middle of the night, which we all know is the most scary time.

The farmhouse was built back in 1736, which has given it ample time to become a home to many spirits and ghosts and was infamously occupied by the Perron family in the 1970s. When members of the family began to suffer mysterious illnesses and physical attacks, they called in noted paranormal investigators and demonologists, Ed & Lorraine Warren to come and check the place out.

If you’ve seen the films, which I refuse to because Fuck That, you’ll know how this story goes.

Anyway, the Warrens and the Perrons did a bunch of seancés and tried to exorcise the joint which didn’t please Bethesba, the accused witch who was lurking in limbo in the house. In response, the shit very much hit the fan through a doll that you and I both very much love and adore* – Annabelle. (*wretched, cursed doll whom I truly hate.)

Back to the Heinzens, who currently own the obviously cursed house, they told the Sun Journal that although they don’t feel an evil presence in the house, it’s definitely very spiritually busy, and from day one they’ve had doors opening themselves, footsteps across floors, the classic gentle haunting someone-is-here-with-you vibes.

“I’ve had a hard time staying there by myself. I don’t have the feeling of anything evil, (but) it’s very busy,” Cory said.

“You can tell there’s a lot of things going on in the house.”

NOOOOOOO THANK U

Luckily (???) for the rest of us, the Heinzens plan to open up the Rhode Island/Conjuring house for spooky tours and the like once they give it a bit of a spruce up, and Cory says that he loves that he now owns a piece of paranormal history.

Sure mates, you do you, but I’m very happy for my invite to get somehow lost in the post.

Image: Supplied to Sun Journal