The world of football Twitter gave us a rare gift last night: pure, uncut drama.
In case you missed it, Coleen Rooney, the wife of former Manchester United star Wayne Rooney, alleged someone with access to the Instagram account of Rebekah Vardy, wife of current Leicester City forward Jamie Vardy, was forwarding her private Instagram Stories to a British tabloid.
It’s truly sensational stuff, made even wilder by how Rooney came to that conclusion.
In her bombshell Twitter accusation, Rooney said she gradually culled the number of friends and family who could view her private Instagram Stories until Vardy was the only one standing. Rooney said she then fabricated some Instagram Stories to see if those wild claims wound up in The Sun. Sure enough, they did, leading Rooney to accuse Vardy in spectacular fashion.
Vardy has denied responsibility, saying other people have access to her account, but it was too late by that point. The memes had begun.
Early on, Twitter user @lilygelder appeared to coin the phrase WAGatha Christie, suggesting Rooney is the Wives And Girlfriend equivalent of the great murder mystery author.
Wagatha Christie https://t.co/teqdA1BRAU
— Lily (@lilygelder) October 9, 2019
It caught on.
give coleen rooney a netflix series where she solves social media mysteries, do it now https://t.co/mwNkOCfTMD
— the iggsorcist (@multiplebears) October 9, 2019
So @RebekahVardy has been cancelled… now maybe @ColeenRoo could put her mind to what exactly happened to Amelia Earhart… who shot JFK… what happened to the Ark of the Covenant… is Atlantis real and what really happened on the Orient Express… #WagathaChristie
— Richard Delaney (@indigoflame369) October 9, 2019
— michele filon ???? (@michelefilon) October 9, 2019
If Coleen Rooney doesn’t become a private investigator and use R????NEY as her logo then she has squandered a golden opportunity
— Dotty (@AmplifyDot) October 9, 2019
Others have suggested occasional TV personality Rooney has a rock-solid career in journalism, should she want one.
Coleen Rooney The BBC
— mojitos & socialism (@bicknaker) October 9, 2019
the pulitzer prize for investigative reporting goes to coleen rooney https://t.co/fTA5FW2syf
— Anna Cafolla (@AnnaCafolla) October 9, 2019
The AFR is proud to announce Coleen Rooney will be joining our gun investigations team. Ms Rooney has a proud track record of investigative work and will be a valuable new addition to the newsroom. https://t.co/SNwYAQGrpG
— Max Mason (@Maxepmason) October 9, 2019
I kid you not a radio producer just called me and asked if I'd go on air to talk about the Coleen Rooney vs Rebekah Vardy spat "from an investigative journalist's perspective"
— Gareth Davies (@Gareth_Davies09) October 9, 2019
Then there are the everyday drama-lovers, who responded to the entire ordeal with extreme enthusiasm.
"Get on Twitter, Coleen Rooney is laying into Rebekah Vardy" pic.twitter.com/y3U26BKpF4
— GeorgeWeahsCousin (@WeahsCousin) October 9, 2019
and it was……… Rebekah Vardy's account
oh my god it was Rebekah Vardy's account pic.twitter.com/iLqrf2KP8M
— an patrúnacht ???? (@saoirse_idk) October 9, 2019
Rebekah Vardy in conversation with the sun https://t.co/WwL4EoPdCy
— Josh???? (@JxshAVFC) October 9, 2019
We now go live to Rebekah Vardy pic.twitter.com/LekHa4BaLv
— Rupert Myers (@RupertMyers) October 9, 2019
⚪️ Gonna be me
???? Rebekah Vardy’s account
— AAARGGHHHcid pop (@accid_pop) October 9, 2019
Sorry to all writers who now must live in the knowledge that you will never write an ending as good as 'It's………….. Rebekah Vardy’s account'
— Emma Kelly (@TooManyEmmas) October 9, 2019
＿| ⊃／(＿IT WAS REBEKAH VARDY
— D-Em-onic ???????????? (@_emilyoram) October 9, 2019
Coleen Rooney coming up with new fake stories to trick Rebekah Vardy on Instagram. pic.twitter.com/PqJQ2AGc1v
— josh (@joshaaronr) October 9, 2019
Football fans themselves got involved, picking out key moments from the sporting careers of Jamie Vardy and Wayne Rooney to make their points.
— Sam (@the_cannon) October 9, 2019
— Adnan (@Capelloo_) October 9, 2019
— Will (@billydoy94) October 9, 2019
— ????Pete???? (@petegaden) October 9, 2019
Even Google got involved, saying that at the peak of the scandal, ‘Rebekah Vardy’ was searched online more than ‘Brexit’.
Not worldwide, mind you. Just in the UK.
By one very specific and limited metric, this was a bigger deal than the nation’s traumatic split from the European Union.
Image: Shaun Botterill / Getty Images
Rebekah Vardy is more searched than Brexit in the UK today. pic.twitter.com/ZwUgOtCSxB
— GoogleTrends (@GoogleTrends) October 9, 2019