Cold? Shivering? Jack Frost nipping at your nose? Sure it may be the first day of winter but why the fk is it so abnormally icy? Turns out there are a couple of reasons our nips are hard as icicles and our faces feel completely frozen.

You may recall that Australia was forecast to be absolutely drilled by a polar surge coming our way last week.

The surge was reported to be coming from the south and freezing the fudge out of all the southern states including NSW. It was forecast to bring about snow, harsh winds, freezing temperatures and even rain.

Well, she’s here now.

Horny weather graph aside, Australia is about to experience a second cumming, with another polar surge coming in to destroy us.

Already some parts of NSW have experienced blizzards at high elevations. Winter didn’t just arrive, she threw her fur coat onto the counter, demanded two strong martinis and put her heel into our eyes while laughing. Ma’am, I’m cold, let me go!

“We’ll see some of the coldest weather so far this year reaching the NSW coast and that does remain colder than average across the rest of the southeast,” said Sky News Meteorologist Alison Osborne.

To make matters worse we are also experiencing some wild fkn winds that make it feel colder than it actually is.

Severe weather warnings for NSW and Victoria have been issued by the binches at the Bureau of Meteorology (BoM). Sure it may be moderately cold outside, but it feels like below freezing temperatures thanks to the wind lashing our faces every second.

According to BoM forecasts, Canberra is going to cop the worst of the arctic breeze, hitting temperatures below freezing. The kind of frosty fuckery that lets you bypass owning a freezer if you have a backyard.

Meanwhile NSW, Queensland and Victoria will be enduring intense gales that make it feel super icy outside.

On top of this, the southmost parts of Australia will still be enduring their DP of polar surges, so best of luck to everyone down there.

As always make sure to keep extra toasty and dress for the coldest weather imaginable, this weather shows no sign of relenting any time soon.

Image: Getty Images / Frank Ramspott