Clive Palmer Is A National Treasure, Just Ask Him

Say what you want about Clive Palmer, but the man’s never short on confidence. The Palmer United Party is making a big push in Western Australia ahead of this weekend’s senatorial by-election. In fact he’s making such a big push to gain seats in WA, that even Tony Abbott has started accusing him of trying to buy seats. So when the conservative Prime Minister of Australia, the leader of the party you were once a staunch member of, starts spouting off that you might be a little bit loose with your purse strings, what do you do? Easy. You go on national television and let everyone know exactly how well off you are.

In a Studio 10 interview, Palmer, spruiking his Palmer United Party’s chances in the WA election, ran into some mild opposition in the form of the question “Are you running out of money?” He did what any average, hard-working, middle class voting Australian would do in that situation: brag about the ridiculous amounts of mining resources he owns. No, he’s not short of money, people. He’s filthy rich! Even if he (allegedly) can’t pay his fish and chip bill. And to top that off, with all the understand wit of a middle-aged man who just discovered emoji, spilled the beans on the PM’s nickname that’s currently doing the rounds: “WTF – Worse Than Fraser.” Yeah! Cop THAT, Tone!
Though Clive himself couldn’t actually name any of his party’s policies (“Visit the website. They’re all there!”) we assume they involve mooring the Titanic II in Fremantle, riding into the Western Australian state parliament on the back of a giant animatronic dinosaur, and creating the Palmer Exemption tax, whereby 100% of the money made from mining stays in the hands of those who toiled day and night, worked their fingers to the bone to claim ownership of things that they found in the ground.
But he’s alright, really. He’s our Clive! In his own words, “I’m a national treasure!

The WA senate election is this Saturday, but in the meantime here’s a song we feel would suit the Palmer Party’s election campaign to a tee.

Photo: Bradley Kanaris via Getty Images.