Old Mate Rumpleforeskin Here Just Bought Adolf Hitler’s Car

clive palmer adolf hitler car

Engorged cane toad Clive Palmer has reportedly purchased Nazi memorabilia from a Russian billionaire. Suck eggs, fucko!

There’s really no way around this other than to state facts. Clive Palmer, who is my bid to play Oogie Boogie (bag full of bugs) in a live-action Nightmare Before Christmas, has bought Hitler’s car for himself.

Yes, Adolf Hitler’s car. You know, the mass-murdering dictator and leader of the Nazi party. For some reason, Palmer wants his car. For legal reasons I will not imply that birds of a feather flock together. Nor will I be saying that this move from scum-fuck Palmer comes as no fkn surprise. Nor will I — you know what, never mind.


Palmer has reportedly purchased the car in a bid to increase his ever-growing vintage car collection. However this is not a vintage car, it’s Nazi memorabilia. It is a piece of metal with gross historic significance. On top of that, it is a waste of fkn money.

Our least favourite bloated bike pump has reportedly been in talks for two fkn years to buy the Nazi vehicle and will take it off the hands of a Russian billionaire.

I dunno, maybe now isn’t the best time to be buying Fascist iconography from some loaded-up unnamed figure in Russia of all places. I would tell Palmer to read the room, but the bloke never learnt how to read.

The bulletproof Mercedes-Benz 770 Grosser Offencer Tourenwagen (or as I like to call it, the Nazi Memorabilia Mobile) will reportedly join one of Palmer’s three (3) car storage locations.

The pinata full of slime has car storage in his Gold Coast home, his Sunshine Coast resort and in a Gold Coast storage facility. Billionaires really are just dark matter with some semblance of human consciousness.

Sour cream and chive Palmer also purchased King Edward VIII’s Rolls-Royce for his deeply cursed car collection, as he aims for the largest car collection in the world with at least 600 cars on rotation.

I mean, the debate rages on about whether King Edward VIII was a Nazi sympathiser, which would explain why Palmer got a hard-on for his car as well.

Anyway, fuck this guy.