Presenting, A Real-Life US Air Force Official Whose Name Is “Steve Cum”

Here’s a perfectly ordinary, if uninteresting tweet:

Nothing crazy here. Just a completely normal photo of some senior US Air Force officers attending a university graduation to HEY WAIT A SECOND. Please allow us to draw your attention to the man standing on the far left: Chief Master Sergeant Steve Cum.

Chief. Master. Sergeant. Steve. Cum.

Maybe it’s a typo,” you suggest. It is not.

None of us get to choose the name we were born with. If I’d had my own way, I wouldn’t have grown up in the 90s as a non-straight primary school child whose name rhymes perfectly with ‘McGay’, and yet, here I am, McGay as hell. Obviously, Steve Cum had no hand in his name and can’t be blamed for how ridiculous it sounds. Although, to some extent he did. You see, Steve Cum is not his real name.

It’s George Cum.

George. Cum.

As per his bio on the Air Force Medical Service website, Chief Master Sergeant George “Steve” Cum decided that part of his name needed to go – and it was not the “cum” part. Is it childish that I find this so funny? Maybe. But it’s also hilarious that in his bio he is referred to as “Chief Cum”:

Chief Cum is the personal advisor to the USAF Surgeon General on all issues regarding the welfare, readiness, morale, and proper utilization and progression for the 34,000 Total Force medical enlisted community.

This incredibly interestingly-named gentleman came across my radar because a bunch of people saw that first tweet and were also similarly tickled:

And to really hammer it home, please enjoy just the barest hint of an official United States Airforce nametag reading simply ‘cum’:

I don’t know if you can tell, but this has absolutely made my day.