Channel 7 Claims that Russian Warships are Bearing Down on Australia

Well it looks like we’re all fucked. 

In a turn of events that does not, not resemble something out of a South Park episode it seems that Tony Abbott’s shirt-fronting comments have resulted in four Russian warships ‘bearing’ down on Australia. While our first reaction was to question whether Channel 7 had taken a page out of The Onion’s book and was just straight making shit up, the reports are now being backed up by further news outlets. 
While it’s not uncommon for Russia to have a warship or two outside of international meetings, such as the G20 soon to be held in Brisbane, it’s reportedly uncommon for as many as four ships to come, and you know it’s a long way to travel just to pet a Koala. 
So while it’s most likely too early to start doomsday prepping it’s probably a good time to pray for the folk over at Channel 7 who are currently in a downward spiral of Russian military porn. Check out those guns, feel the firepower. 
I for one welcome our new Russian overlords.