The world is dark and full of horrible things, but we can safely say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than everything put together: CCTV footage has emerged showing a food delivery driver stealing a single, lone chip right from under a hungry customer’s nose.
3AW‘s Rumour File first reported the unfathomable atrocity this morning, after obtaining the footage from a caller and subsequently posting it online.
The footage shows the delivery driver – reportedly in the process of dropping off an eagerly-awaited UberEats order – brazenly reaching into the bag and removing the single chip (and a long one at that) before knocking on the door. All in broad daylight. All in front of what had to have been utterly horrified onlookers.
My god. My god. The chip! Callously separated from its chippy brethren! Eaten long before its time! Munched in plain sight!
It’s unclear what police prosecution will be levelled upon the mastermind of this egregious heist – no less than life in jail for such a shocking crime is clearly the only moral answer – and at this stage all investigations are being kept out of the media eye.
However the footage is clear. No single chip is safe; in this town, or any other.
Pray for your precious chippies, friends.