Canadian Town Threatens Drunk Drivers With Punishment By Nickelback

As someone whose second or third CD *ever* was Nickelback‘s ‘Silver Side Up‘ in 2001, the band’s rapid descent into meme reputation as the musical equivalent of rat piss was initially hard to fathom. Then I gave ‘Photograph‘ a listen, and everything quickly became clear. The band? It’s not good.

A Canadian town has followed the global hatred of Nickelback to its only logical conclusion, and is now threatening drunk drivers with forced listenings to “Chad Kroeger and the boys”.

The Kensington police department – found in a small town on Prince Edward Island, north of Nova Scotia – posted the usual ‘don’t drink and drive’ warnings to Facebook in the lead up to the holidays. Y’know – plan other transport, have a designated driver, don’t put yours and others lives at risk because it was inconvenient for you to not get behind the wheel after a few Bloody Caesars etc. (Seriously, don’t do it.)

But they added a lil’ something this year to really drive the message home.

“Now, with that being said, know that the Kensington Police Service will be out for the remainder of year looking for those dumb enough to feel they can drink and drive,” the Facebook post said. “And when we catch you, and we will catch you, on top of a hefty fine, a criminal charge and a years driving suspension we will also provide you with a bonus gift of playing the offices copy of Nickelback in the cruiser on the way to jail.

“Now, now, no need to thank us, we figure if you are foolish enough to get behind the wheel after drinking then a little Chad Kroeger and the boys is the perfect gift for you.”

As we would say – and would baffle Canadians – they’re not here to fuck spiders.

They’re prepared.

“So please, lets not ruin a perfectly good unopened copy of Nickelback,” the post said, which – oh yeah – was accompanied by a pic of the CD STILL IN ITS PLASTIC. “You don’t drink and drive and we won’t make you listen to it.” 

Photo: Getty / Ethan Miller.