Okay, okay, okay I need to get something of my chest: I am OBSESSED with those realistic cake cutting videos and it is genuinely starting to negatively impact my life.
A few days ago, my dad sent me one of those now-viral cake cutting videos – the Croc, to be precise. At the time, I thought nothing of it. Sure, it was amusing but was it about to absolutely consume every waking second of my life? I didn’t think so.
But I was SO very wrong.
These Are All Cakes pic.twitter.com/ejArkJHaid
— Tasty (@tasty) July 8, 2020
These videos aren’t exactly new, the toilet paper cake went viral months ago at the start of the coronavirus pandemic. But I didn’t realise just how realistic some of these cakes are.
I simply cannot comprehend how these are made of cake. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t believe it.
How are we supposed to believe that aliens don’t exist when stuff like this happens? No human could make these, it has to be aliens.
I mean, look at this! Look at the oyster! The Filet-o-Fish, the ONION! You’re telling me I’m supposed to believe these are all made of cake?!
https://twitter.com/evillanelles/status/1282063274083782659
I just don’t understand. Are they somehow filling an onion with cake? Is the skin also made of cake? Is this all just a bunch of elaborate video editing tricks? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!
But it turns out I’m not the only one who has lost their last brain cell over this.
i have chained my roommate to the kitchen table. i will be cutting him open to see if he’s a cake. he says he isn’t, but that’s exactly something a cake would say https://t.co/DdBFYGmHVg
— royse (@Roysenotes) July 10, 2020
I don’t condone taking a knife to your couch, or other household items. But do you *really* know it’s not a cake? Are you sure you’re not a cake?
https://twitter.com/Lofaaabb/status/1282151386193567744
Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for household items destroyed in the process of cake-finding.
I’ve been cutting various household objects with a big knife all day. So far, no cakes https://t.co/Vf5KlzczKE
— Fred Delicious 🍆 (@Fred_Delicious) July 10, 2020
*Me two hours later in a drunken stupor cutting everything I own in half and accusing them of being cakes* https://t.co/YwCLGQqj2i
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) July 9, 2020
But please, and I cannot stress this enough, do not cut your family open to see if they are cake.
https://twitter.com/WannaBeReeceJr/status/1281982801248759809
At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if 2020 is a cake.
Have we tried cutting into 2020 to see if it’s a cake yet
— jodz (@JodieDarya) July 11, 2020
https://twitter.com/figurativejs/status/1282048158437126144
I’ve watched so many cake cutting videos at this point that I genuinely do not know if I am a human or just a really good human-looking cake. Help.
Yours sincerely,
– A human-shaped cake.
