Have you ever wondered to yourself: what would happen if my hairless scalp got burnt to a crisp? Would the flesh melt right off my skull? Would I die? Would the skin itself shrink like vacuum-pack around my noggin and crush my brain from the outside in?
Well, good friends, wonder no more, because a poor bloke had this very issue happen to him and the results will fuck you up.
Twitter user Cade Huckabay – who hails from Texas – accidentally burnt his skull in the blistering hot rays of our overlord, the sun, and his head swelled up so much he put a friggin’ dent in it.
“One time I shaved my head, got severely sunburned, and swelled up just a little bit,” he tweeted, sharing the horrifying evidence.
You ready for this?
Here’s his very badly burnt noggin.
And here he is sticking a finger into it.
And here is OH NO WHAT IS THAT MONSTROSITY STOP IT STOP IT.
THIS IS WHY YOU WEAR SLIP, SLOP AND BLOODY WELL SLAP. THIS RIGHT HERE.
People were absolutely horrified with this development.
How do I unsee this monstrosity ????????
— B (@bsexton0) December 5, 2017
Dude… like were you okay… I have never seen something like this before.
— STARS Coldsnare (@STARS_Kristen) December 5, 2017
And there were more than a few comparisons.
— impeachdonaldtrump (@Maggie4R) December 6, 2017
Cade you look like Timmy pic.twitter.com/BwXpjXwphS
— Colton ひ (@ColtCaldwell) December 5, 2017
Can you spot the difference because I can't pic.twitter.com/ngwAV1Wpbz
— Ariana Martin (@arianajom) December 6, 2017
Cade says that “at one point I could put a dent in my forehead and it would stay there for like half an hour,” which is a frankly horrifying thought. Oh god, the peeling.
“I shaved my head because I wanted to see what it’d look like at basic,” he explained. “Then I decided to get sunburnt af and this happened… word to the wise, wear sunscreen.”
Like the columnist Mary Schmich once wrote, and which Baz Lurhmann turned into a song, “wear sunscreen”. We’d also like to add to that a hat, sunglasses, and literally every layer of protection possible between you and the huge ball of fire in the sky, or else you’ll:
All’s well that ends well, I guess.
Image: Twitter / Cade Huckabay
#WriteAHappyStoryIn4Words My dent is gone
— Cade Huckabay (@CadeHuckabay) December 6, 2017