Bunnings Cancelled A Sausage Sizzle Due To The Heat, And Yep, We’re Doomed

Ladies and gentlemen, the saddest 12 words in the English language: “Due to extreme heat predictions, there will be no sausage sizzle today.” This message, written on a sign outside a Melbourne Bunnings and captured by Instagram user Bec Honey, may be the most conclusive proof yet that we have arrived at the end of days.


“You know it’s gonna be a hot one when Bunnings cancels their sausage sizzle,” she wrote, and we have to agree. Snags are out, sweltering temperatures are in, and freeways are actually starting to melt in the heat. What a time to be alive.

The south-eastern portion of Australia is in the grip of a heatwave today, with temperatures rising to more than 40 degrees throughout the afternoon throughout parts of VictoriaNew South Wales and South Australia.

3000 homes in Victoria are without power right now thanks to an unknown fault, although authorities are hoping it will be restored by early evening. The state’s ambulance commander Paul Holman warned:

“This heat is a killer … It’s going to be like a blast furnace [on Saturday] and you need to adjust what you do. You need to take care. So put off the sporting events, put off the outside events, stay inside.”

The Tasmanian fire service has extra personnel and aircraft standing by, with temperatures in the state set to peak in the mid-30s and winds of up to 50km/hour forecast.

There are total fire bans in place across Tasmania, Victoria and SA, where the fire danger is currently at a “catastrophic” level in the Mount Lofty ranges and the state’s upper and lower south-east districts.

Conditions are the worst since 2015, when the Pinery fire claimed two lives near the Barossa region, and people are advised to avoid using machinery around grass or bushland.