Brown Cardigan – online emporium of cooked behaviour, Australia’s only true internet archivists, precious resource that should be enshrined in the national museum – has made an abrupt pivot to social activism, by launching the kind of campaign that literally every Australian can get behind: Getting A Current Affair‘s name changed to A Karen Affair.

The glorious B Cardi has launched an online petition to get Australia’s television home of dodgy tradies and neighbours from hell shifted to something a little more tonally appropriate.

Per the Change.org petition description, spearheaded by the not-even-remotely conspicuous moniker “Bronwyn Cardigan,” the name change is being sought because “It’s clear A Current Affair is geared towards aggravating the Karen’s and Grant’s around the nation who use their privilege to disrupt and harass any service based industry, racially profile absolute strangers in public and demand the attention of managers around the globe. Why? Because the customer is always right and the Ombudsman is always one handwritten airmail letter away.”

The description further asserts that Karens have become more evident in the general consciousness as coronavirus hit Australia,” and that “the power struggle for customer service has been pushed into the spotlight and onto people’s camera rolls – filming the next Karen public meltdown about incorrectly priced thongs at Spotlight and complains about expired steaks at Aldi making them sick.”

“If we can get the attention of Tracy Grimshaw or Karl Stefanovic, we might be able to get them to have a realisation and get some more meaningful change into that 6:30pm prime time television slot.”

The idea for ‘A Karen Affair’ (as well as that solid photoshop job) is credited to satirical news site Double Bay Today.

Since going up yesterday, the petition has already accumulated nearly 1,000 signatures and shows no signs of slowing down.

The petition is directly aimed at Channel Nine, who wholly owns this publication. However despite that, we feel it our civil duty to support this campaign wholeheartedly, and urge out corporate overlords to heed the demands of the people.

We have no problem with A Current Affair continuing down its current path in terms of the content it produces, but pretending it’s not for the very specific audience it reaches is a travesty.

The show must be renamed A Karen Affair. We’ve never felt stronger about any issue.

Please do the right thing by contributing your name to this very important cause. You can sign the petition yourself by following this link.

Image: Double Bay Today