Christmas. A sacred institution that you must *never* fuck with, particularly with delicious baked treats. A bakery chain in England has been forced to “apologise” after they replaced the Baby Jesus in a Nativity Scene with a humble sausage roll, just as God intended.
Greggs, a large UK bakery organisation, is promoting the run-up to Christmas with an advent calendar, where each window being a tear-off coupon that hungry customers can then exchange for a treat off the menu each day.
IT’S ALL GOING TO BE OKAY, FOLKS. @GreggsOfficial has launched Advent Calendar. £24. Each door reveals token to redeem coffee/sausage roll etc pic.twitter.com/Q5a4SBBIyS
— Harry Wallop (@hwallop) November 13, 2017
Solid deal. Tasty baked treats for Santa. A few piping hot Yuletide brews, etc.
Only problem there is that, in promotional images for the calendar, Greggs put a sausage roll in the magic infant’s manger, which has subsequently ruffled a few feathers.
Greggs forced to apologise after PR shots promoting advent calendar replace baby Jesus with a SAUSAGE ROLL pic.twitter.com/q0qwd4ISxh
— Andrew Bloch (@AndrewBloch) November 15, 2017
Seriously, the feathers. They were ruffled.
Today on What Cheered Natalie Up A Bit: Man gets angry at local newspaper because they photoshop a sausage roll over baby jesus pic.twitter.com/kt0mLSIIdQ
— Natalie 🦇 (@nataliejtayls) November 13, 2017
Anyone who claims to find no religion in a baked good has never eaten an almond croissant, to be perfectly bloody honest.
Greggs, in a statement, asserted that they were “really sorry to have caused any offence, this was never our intention.”
So there you have it, folks. Definitive proof. The tiny Baby Jesus is not a sausage roll. Nor is it a pie, a pastie, a tart, a turnover, an eclair, a quiche, or even a slice. Jesus is not any of those things, and any insinuation otherwise is unacceptable.
‘Course if he were a sausso roll then that whole “the body of Christ” thing just got a shiteload tastier.
