In news that’s bound to wrinkle more than a few sun-leathered brows, a new proposal currently being considered by the local council could potentially see part of the iconic Bondi Beach roped off for exclusive, paid VIP access. And to that end, allow us to be the first to state quite clearly: lol.

The story goes that the proposal – currently operating under the Amalfi Beach Club name – would see a 30m x 40m portion of the Bondi sand blocked off, with exclusive seating installed within the area. Punters would be charged a fairly eye-watering $80 per person for a two-hour booking inside one of the beach cabanas. Food and drink would be on offer, at an extra cost.

According to The Daily Telegraph, the club would target people with a “high net worth.” And yet, it somehow gets worse.

The proposal document put forth to Waverley Council asserts paints a vivid picture of the specific types of people the club aims to attract. “Typically,” it says, “the men are aspirational professionals such as doctors, surgeons, members of the finance industry (bankers & investors), as well as professional directors, business entrepreneurs and business owners.”

“Women,” it continues, “occupy a similar high-end platform in areas of publishing, advertising, fashion, beauty and modelling.”

Mr Doctor and Mrs Model. Got it.

The 100-capacity private beach club would operate between 12pm and 9pm, although the sand area it occupies would presumably be off limits to the general public 24/7.

Folks behind the club assert that it would be a way to “support local business,” and “lift community morale following the COVID-19 crisis,” as “those who may have sojourned to the usual European beach hotspots over our winter will spend the year in Australia supporting the local economy instead.”

The area that would be roped off under the proposal consists of 2.1% of the total Bondi Beach space, but would cater to just 100 patrons at a time.

Waverley Council reportedly rejected a previous version of the proposal that would’ve seen it operate between November and February. However a new version of the proposal, that would operate between February and May, is now with the council for consideration.

A petition organised by the club’s backers has been launched. At the time of writing it had amassed just over 600 signatures.

2% of Bondi roped off for paying rich flogs. Seems inevitable, really.

Image: Getty Images / James D. Morgan