No matter how bad or stressful your Christmas Day was, it probably can’t have been worse than the Bondi Beach punter who swallowed a fkn bluebottle. A BLUEBOTTLE. IN HIS STOMACH.
According to the Daily Mail, an 18-year-old beachgoer was rushed to Sydney’s St Vincent’s Hospital after the slimy little sucker found its way into his gob on December 25.
Now, I know Australia is famous for its seafood lunches on Christmas Day, but this is taking it a bit too far.
Jokes aside, it appears the teen didn’t actually eat the bluebottle on purpose. The Daily Mail says he was simply minding his own business going for a dip when he accidentally swallowed the bluebottle (along with a lot of seawater, probably).
9News reports that he was treated by lifeguards and paramedics before being taken to hospital by ambulance.
The bluebottle is also known as the Pacific or Portuguese man o’ war and while its sting is not fatal, tens of thousands of Aussie cop extremely painful stings every year as bluebottles find their way onto our beaches.
Given that the immediate cure is putting hot water on a bluebottle sting, I don’t know how you would get around this when the sting is… internal.
If you’ve been stung by a bluebottle you know how fucking agonising those little tentacles can be, not to mention the angry red welts that pop up on your skin afterwards. I remember having about a one-centimetre bit of bluebottle on my leg as a kid and howling the entire beach down in pain.
So the thought of having a bluebottle stinging your insides is actually beyond imagination. Like, I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Safe to say this poor person had the worst Christmas on record.
According to the Daily Mail there is no update on the teen’s current condition, but we hope he had a swift recovery.
