Drink driving is bad, make no mistake about it. But being denied vital Macca’s chicken nuggets in an hour of need? That’s arguably a bigger crime.
A while back you might have heard the yarn about the bloke who, blasted off his balls, attempted to procure an extremely large amount of precious nugs from a Macca’s in northern Sydney. When he was denied, due to the breakfast menu ticking over, he calmly responded by hurling abuse at the staff, doing four laps of the drive thru, and purchasing 200 hash browns instead. As is his god-given right as an Australian citizen.
After being arrested by the plod, he blew the living hell out of the breatho, registering a blood-boiling reading of 0.175.
That man, identified as 30-year-old Kole Olsen, has had his day in court, and the details of the incident are even more unreal than first thought.
Hornsby Local Court has heard how Olsen, an IT worker who claimed in court to be a vegan would you even believe, drove to the Macca’s after a night of partying and attempted to order 200 McNuggets.
When staff told him that was not possible due to nugs not being on the breakfast menu (WHY SODDING NOT, McDONALD’S) old mate responded with the calm and measured sentence “I want my fucking nuggets, I’m gonna fuck you up.”
In protest, he drove four laps of the drive thru while absolutely leaning on the horn, before he calmed down enough to fork over $230 for 200 hash browns.
Staff eventually locked the doors and refused to serve him after he continued to carry on, demanding a refund for the meal he just bought which, owing to him being absolutely pissed as hell, he immediately confused for 200 larges fries and Big Macs.
Police were called to the scene and subsequently found him blind-ass drink behind the wheel of the car.
So, to quickly recap:
- Man, who is vegan, gets absolutely trollied and decides to break veganism in the most spectacular fashion possible by ordering 200 chicken nuggets.
- Man gets denied said mountain of nugs and flips his ever-loving shit.
- Man drives four laps of the drive thru before purchasing 200 hash browns.
- Man immediately forgets he bought said hash browns and tries to get a refund on 200 Big Macs w/ fries.
- Cops arrive and find man still behind wheel of car.
- Cops find man has so much booze on his breath that a lit cigarette probably would’ve blown up three city blocks.
Olsen, quite unsurprisingly, entered a plea of guilty for high range drink driving. The court slapped him with a one-year good behaviour bond, and fined him $1,000, suspended his license for 9 months.
And yet despite all of this, his nugget count remains at zero.
A true shame.