For The 2019 Bird Of The Year Poll, We Are Disendorsing The Pelican

Today marks the start of inarguably the most important annual poll in Australia today: The Bird of the Year poll, held by The Guardian AU in conjunction with BirdLife Australia. It’s the only poll that strives to decide definitively which feathered friend was the fairest feathered friend of them all over the past year. It’s so vitally important.

Other publications have chimed in with their various ringing endorsements of the poll, which this year features a First Round class of 50 birds, which will be subsequently whittled down to 10 for a Second Round vote.

This year, however, PEDESTRIAN.TV is taking a different tact.

[jwplayer UDdSKjRr]

In these troubled and tumultuous times, we feel quite strongly that it’s not the place of media to explicitly tell you who you should cast your vote for in a poll of such obvious significance.

Rather, it’s for the benefit of everyone that you engage directly with the poll by researching each candidate and gaining an independent understanding of where they stand.

Some of you may favour the salt-aired majesty of the white-bellied sea eagle.

Some of you may be drawn in by the populist appeal of the common Australian magpie.

Some of you may be attracted to the Southern cassowary, with its unyielding lust for death.

Hell, some of you may even lean to the extremes of the scale; to the Australian brush turkey (hard-left communist), or to the Black swan (radical capitalist with nationalist leanings).

The point is, whoever it is you vote for in the 2019 Bird of the Year poll, do so freely, without external influence, for whichever bird suits your world view best.

As long as it’s not the garbage Pelican: The bird that sucks.

It is our belief that its beak can hold more than its belly can, and that as such it cannot EVER be trusted.

The fuck is it hiding in there? What’s going on? Why won’t it reveal its secrets? Neck too damn big. Far too much chin skin. Very suspicious!

Do note vote for the Pelican.

Do not give it what it wants.