Bill Shorten Rapped & Dabbed On Radio Today So Now We Gotta Burn Everything

Fucken christ this is an absolute mess. While Australia grapples with intensely serious political issues stemming from a conservative government careening around like a car without brakes, the one thing we truly need for balance and accountability is strong, measured opposition. Instead, we get this hot buttered bullshit from Bill Shorten, the mid-life crisis of Australian politics.

Shorten, for reasons that we will never know or fully understand, appeared on Nova this morning with Fitzy (good bloke) and Wippa (meh). Rather than ask the leader of the opposition serious pressing questions or even joking with him in a normal manner, a page was taken straight out of every list of suggestions from a mid-50s white mid-level ad exec circa 1995 and they “did a rap.”

As in, Bill Shorten rapped on national radio.

Also he dabbed.

He fucking dabbed.

That’s part of the discourse now. That can’t be unseen, undone, or unrecorded. Bill Shorten dabbed.

As if that alone weren’t enough to make the entire thing a complete shitshow, professional crank Ray Hadley, a man who has been about 68 years old for the past 38 years, inexplicably showed up wearing a gaudy gold chain, an Amar’e Stoudemire New York Knicks jersey (which somehow makes this all the more embarrassing), and a backwards cap to complete this insane “rap battle.”

If you think this is gonna be a difficult watch, you’re wrong. It’s worse.

Much, much, much worse.

Immediately put everyone involved in the creation and execution of this video in jail. Horrendous content.

The only, *ONLY* positive to come out of this is maybe the ungodly sight of Bill Shorten dabbing – he dabbed – will once and for all put the hand motion into the grave its sorely been yearning for for years.

Turn off its life support, for fuck’s sake. This is just cruel.

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