Canberra Just Erected A Massive Fk-Off Magpie To Celebrate The Animal Who Populates It Most

Canberra’s got a great, big, bloody new magpie statue just in case you’ve finally emotionally recovered from being attacked on the way to school. Good times, good times.

He has been formally dubbed ‘Big Swoop’. An excellent name for a magpie if there ever was one.

According to The Canberra Times, Big Swoop weighs half a tonne (terrifying) and is 3.5 metres long (let’s hope he never comes to life). He also has his very own giant chip which will hopefully satisfy his insatiable hunger and desire for vengeance.

Big Swoop was created by local Canberran artist Yanni Pounartzis, a certified king.

“I’m actually really relieved because there were a lot of things that had to come together,” he told the Canberra Times as Big Swoop was unveiled.

Like any good giant bird sculpture, Big Swoop has a powerful backstory.

He grew up eating chips from Chicken Gourmet in Canberra. He then flew the nest to the big city lights of Sydney before ultimately returning to Canberra. Fair enough, Sydney’s night life is so shit that even the magpies are leaving.

Pounartzis worked with fellow artists Gustavo Balboa and Ari Maack to bring Big Swoop to life. Hopefully not literally.

Everyone who went along to the welcome event for Big Swoop (his birthday party, let’s be honest) also got free chips. A fucking fabulous day out if you ask me. Massive bird? Check. Hot chippies? Double check.

Now, let’s introduce a giant bird statue and free chips in every city.

It’s high time, methinks.

And I’m absolutely buzzed for all the Year 7 students who can add Big Swoop to their Canberra field-trip sightseeing lists. It’s possibly the only thing that can solve a post-Questacon comedown.

Long live Big Swoop, may he reign in peace, prosperity and fried potatoes.